Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Shiny, Happy People

Dear Diary,

I now remember why I never come home and I hate it here so much

Oooo. Too melodramatic. Must stop channeling eighth grade.

The fact is, everything that glitters doesn't remain gold for long. The other fact is that I spend a lot of time on a lawnmower lately, and I spend more than enough time thinking.

At first, being at home was a great joy. I remembered how life used to be and it was this weird feeling of mini-nostalgia. But now trying to get the lawn mowed before it rains while the neighbors laugh at my stupid mistakes doesn't feel so good. It mostly feels like I have to bust my ass to make $50 a week so that I can buy a tiny cup of $1 coffee twice a week and still afford insurance, etc.

Work is great, I guess, except that there's not enough for me to do. Today I sat for two hours while I waited for phone calls. I did all of the petitions and orders necessary for a guardianship case, made appointments, called attorneys for advice on appropriate notice, and sent three client letters. I was still done by 12:30. I'm beginning to think that efficiency is not appreciated in the working world.

So summer has lost its glow and it's mid-June. But that doesn't mean I'm excited for school to start. Just like time at home, law school has about a two-week shiny period. Classes are new, the cases are different and exciting, you're caught up with your work and get to see friends every weekend. And then, just like that, the glitter is gone. You remember that the reason you're learning all this information is to take an exam, that you're paying far too much money in tuition to spend time going out with friends and that you're already behind in reading those exciting new cases.

No, I'm not ready for a whole new period of shiny yet. Shiny can be disappointing. It's better to wait until life is unbearably dull, because then shiny, though short-lived, is incredibly exciting.

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