Wednesday, April 7, 2010

PUBLIC SAFETY NOTICE

OMG. I know I JUST posted, but this is too good to pass up. While sitting in contracts this morning, I got this e-mail from my undergrad, BSU:

"University Police are reporting two complaints of assault following incidents at approximately 8:00 a.m. this morning, April 7, in the vicinity of Worthen Arena and the Student Health Center. According to Assistant Chief Robert Fey, two women walking in the area reported being slapped on their buttocks by a white male as he rode past them on a bicycle. Fey urged anyone with information about these assaults to contact University Police immediately at 285-1111.

Police Chief Gene Burton also took the opportunity to again stress to all members of the university community that they remain alert to their surroundings at all times and, especially at night or in early morning darkness, refrain from traveling alone. As appropriate, he said, students and others should make use of Ball State's free shuttle service for convenient and safe transport across campus."

Okay. What you have to know about this area, is that at 8 am, it's beautifully lit. It's on the east side of campus so it gets perfect morning light. It's not "early morning darkness" as the e-mail describes. So here's what REALLY happened: Two full-of-themselves freshman girls were walking from their dorm at Studebaker East, and some guy from frat row a few blocks away rode up behind them on his bike and slapped them in the asses. They got indignant and went to campus police.

I have two problems with this:

#1: Really, BSU? You thought this was counted as "Public Safety Notice"? You even titled it "Assaults near Worthen Arena." This here, is a joke. And if I had been walking behind those two girls, I would have laughed until I cried.

#2: This mocks REAL assaults that do happen on campus. Honestly, I would say BSU is one of the safer campuses in the US. There's a low crime rate for the most part, and the cops are always available. We even have them riding around campus on bikes and they'll stop for ANYTHING. They give you tickets for public intoxication if you're not wearing your shoes. So, really, pretty safe. But real assaults DO happen, like at any college campus, and this isn't one of them. I was actually chased down the street by a pick-up truck late one night, terrified. I NEVER walked down that street after dark again. I didn't report that, but maybe I should have.


I just want there to be a new campus hero, now that Happy Friday Guy has retired. "The Caped Ass-Slapping Crusader."

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