I Want to Live a Simple Life

Well, it's been a Week, with a Capital W. And it's only Wednesday, which also starts with a W, oddly enough. Things that have happened this week:

1.) I lost my ID

2.) I had to wait in multiple lines, deal with downed servers and waste an extra 20 minutes of my life getting a new ID.

3.) Fifteen minutes after I got my ID, I got an e-mail saying my lost one was found.

4.) I used my new ID to rush around and get stuff ready to turn in for my law review memo which was due at five. I managed to get it done.

5.) It didn't matter because today my SECOND topic was rejected.

I won't lie, after the ID issues and the stress that called, and my night classes this week, and not being able to focus, having my topic rejected for a second time was psychologically damaging.

I've got to be honest: I didn't know what the Law Review was until about October of my first year, when I had to cite a law review for something else. (For anyone who doesn't know, Law Review is a student-run journal. You can grade on if you make the top 10%, or you can write on if you have kickass writing skills.) Meanwhile, other people made Law Review their ultimate first year goal. They had topics in mind and interests ready to go. I graded on accidentally, and am totally lost as to how this whole thing works. I'm not even entirely sure that this is what I want to do, except that I'm told it's this huge honor and you just have to do it.

So I did it. And there I was, at a loss again. I feel like every time I fail at this journal thing, it's supposed to be some sort of sign that I'm not right for this, that I'm not the sort of person who is supposed to do this. Except that I WANT to do something like this for once. Keep a commitment for once in my life and not quit. However, since the universe is busily telling me to give up now, I'm just about ready to give into psychic pressure and throw things out the window.

And this afternoon I just about did. I don't have the personality type the rest of these people have, and maybe I'm just taking a spot from someone who really deserves/wanted it. And maybe I'm not meant to write in a peer-reviewed journal. Sometimes law school just sucks and makes you want to (as I told LSBFF tonight) "Eat Pauly's Pizza, and hopefully choke on it and die." But, fortunately, I didn't eat Pauly's tonight.

LSBFF invited me to join her and two of her best friends tonight for dinner. After a dipped Italian beef sandwich with hot peppers, a short ramble around downtown, and Ghirardelli's ice cream, I feel a lot better. Regardless of what happens, at the end of this, no matter what decision I make about Law Review, I'll still be standing. And if all else fails, there's always Portillo's for some healthy emotional eating.

So much stress, and I have to be up early tomorrow, because they're shutting off the hot water in the building at 8 am. At least that we'll give me plenty of time to do some serious thinking