I Need a Hug

Can we just talk about me for a minute?  I'm having my usual semester-ly crisis of self and having had a bad day yesterday, I'm feeling a little down and out.  Plus, my iTunes keeps playing "Life sucks, then you die" music which is not helping my mood even a little bit.

I like dead bodies.  Not in a necrophiliac way, you sicko, I just like how informative bodies are.  From the time I was thirteen, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist and cut up dead bodies.  I would have been good at that too because you don't have to talk to anybody.  You examine the body, fill out the proper paperwork, and may be called to testify on your findings, etc.  You have no idea how much I hate talking to people.

I'm not bad at public speaking, mind you.  I rather ENJOY public speaking.  I'm bad at CONVERSATIONS.  There's a big difference there.  It's why I prefer to study at home than go out and socialize.  The idea of having a conversation with someone I don't know well makes me feel like vomiting.

So back to my previous point, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist.  But when I explained what that was to my mother, it wasn't received well.  "Are you kidding?  I'm supposed to tell people that my daughter cuts up DEAD PEOPLE for a living?"  (My mother denies this conversation ever happened.  But I know it did, because (1) My mother forgets a lot of conversations, and (2) It was TRAUMATIC, people.)  So cutting up dead people was out since my family seemed horrified by it.

I had a very difficult time picking out a major in college.  Regardless of the bad spelling, grammar, and idea-flow that generally characterizes this blog, I'm actually a great writer.  I'm SMART dammit!  (For any who have watched the "Very Potter Sequel" on Youtube, I feel like the song "The Coolest Girl" is my whole life.)  Point being, as many law students will tell you, getting a bachelor's degree was something of a joke.  But like a homeschooler entering public school for the first time, I totally needed the socialization so it was probably good for me.

I eventually became an anthropology major because people without a life plan get a liberal arts degree and hope things work out.  My favorite classes involved evolutionary theory and osteology.  (Our osteology final was a bunch of small bones and bone fragments in a box.  We had to figure out what all the bones were, separate the animal bones from the human ones, and determine how many people were in the box.  There were three people by the way.  Three completely unmatched patellas just GAVE it away.)

Anyway, I would have made a great anthropologist, because while you have conversations, you don't have to talk, just listen and ask the right questions.  I learned how to do ethnographic interviews and transmit my findings.  I learned how to examine the heck out of ancient documents.  (I can read a census out of the early 1800s and pull all SORTS of interesting information out of it.)  I can develop a thesis, research that thesis, and write a kickass paper on it in a matter of hours.  (It's true.  I once wrote a twenty-page term paper on the use of traditional aztec rhythms and instruments in Mexican nationalist music in three days.)  I can design an entire course for freshman students, and I can talk about why primates are AWESOME for hours.

But that only translates so well to the law.  Especially the monkey part.  Interestingly, attorneys don't want to hear about why chimpanzee language use is absolutely breathtaking or that the Azande's justice system revolves around sorcery and black magic.  And even if they did, I wouldn't be able to tell them about it.  *See above, about not being able to talk to strangers.*

Most days I feel like I ended up here because I didn't know what else to do.  What I do know is that I'm among the thousands of twenty-somethings who are asking "How did I end up in law school?"  and more importantly, "What do I do now?"