Loose Lips Sink Ships...and Other Things, I'm Sure....

Oh my, is it Wednesday already?  Guess it's that time again.  Time for me to pull forth some wisdom.  Here's a good one, said in my best ironically white girl voice, "Hataz gonna hate, yo."  (Actually, it's better if you imagine it in the "Bueller." voice.  Or possibly as Jack Donaghy.  And replace "yo" with "Lemon.")


Look, here's the deal:  Don't talk about the exam.  Don't talk about the exam.  Don't talk about the exam.*  Not with anybody.  Not for any reason.  And everyone is going to want to talk about it.  Politely decline.  And when you get badgered about it, decline more forcefully.  And when the other person won't let it go, find someone else to talk to.  In the words of far too many classic British novels, give them the "cut direct."

Why?  Because talking about the exam can only lead to one thing:  Panic.

They're going to tell you how they answered, you're going to tell them how you answered, they're going to attempt to convince you that they were right, you're going to battle your answer, and then you're going to start panicking.  "Is he right?  Did I completely misunderstand that question?  Dammit.  A had AIDS and didn't know it, and was shot by B, and began dripping blood into C's open wound..."**

Cut it out.  You already defended your answer.  FOR THREE HOURS.  To someone with a much higher degree than whoever you're talking to now.  For the love of God, it doesn't matter anymore!  It's over!  You're both going to get whatever you get!  Also, anyone who needs to defend their answer to YOU, another student, is really insecure about the answer they gave, so don't bother explaining yourself.  Just smile, nod, and give noncommittal answers.

When trying to explain to other people that I don't talk about tests in specifics, I've actually gotten the answer, "Well, it's the only thing that makes me feel better."  Unfortunately, "Good for you.  Shut up or go find someone else to talk to," is not an appropriate response in this situation.  I find that, "Oh, it just makes me feel sick," or "Yeah, I just hate doing that," and then changing the subject works unless you've got someone really persistent.

Of course, you can also handle this the immature way, as I have done and just start making things up.  If you can't stop the other person from talking, create rules in your head and just apply them.  Make the other person think they REALLY screwed it up, and then walk away saying, "Well, I'm sure you were right.  Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.  Bye!"  Then go to lunch and have a beer with people who WON'T talk about the exam.

In other news, thanks to my friend Logan who goes to University of Cincinnati Law for sending a couple new people here!  I've known Logan since I was 11 years old and I have incriminating evidence about what color mythical creature*** he would like to be.  And yes, I have it in writing.

How did your first exams go?  Also, what kind of mythical creature would you like to be, whether cool or uncool?

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*With the exception of "It was good/bad; I feel confident/nervous; I hope grades post soon/never."
**That was actually part of a torts exam given a couple years ago.
***And NOT a badass mythical creature.