Happy Days Are Here Again!

How Can You Not Love This?

Let me announce right here my retroactive holiday break.  It should have lasted about a week and a half.  

Okay, now that that's over, back to your regularly scheduled Running With Fireworks Content.  But before we speak of the future, let's speak of the past.  Here's what has happened to me in the past few days:

• I learned to drink my coffee black because I was too lazy to hunt down milk and sugar at my parents house, knowing that those two items are kept on opposite sides of the kitchen from the coffee pot.
• I wrote a final exam!  In two days!
• I went to two different Christmas celebrations.  Other people's family traditions are weird.  But then again, so are ours.
• I went to Cebolla's twice.  If you have ever been to Cebolla's in Fort Wayne, Indiana, you know this is cause for celebration.  However, I had to go to the Fernhill location, because they closed the bar for the night at the Dupont location.  What is UP with that?  Who goes to a Mexican restaurant where they will be denied tequila-laden beverages?
• I played with Loki-fur.  If you play dead in front of him, he tries to wake you up, and then when you stand up, he jumps around excitedly.  "Hey, I'm Jesus Dog!"
• My parents won a new Wii at the company Christmas party.  Realizing I wouldn't get the new one, I started dropping hints that I wanted the old one.  Then I pleaded.  Then I begged.  Then, not receiving an answer one way or the other, I just boxed it up and stole it.  New Wii for me!

Next up?  Headed back to Chicago tomorrow to celebrate 2011 and better days for all of us.  Also to kill myself finishing up my article.  Also to start my reading for my first classes.  Also to try to remember where and when I said I'd volunteer this semester.  I know I'm at Pritzker and doing DV work, but....yeah.  

Anyway, while I'm not one for New Years Resolutions, I thought I'd throw a couple out there just for the fun of seeing how long I have until I break them.

• Stay a week ahead in my reading.  I've done this before and it really helps me stay on top of things.
• Exercise at least 3 times every week.  The goal is every day (except one day on the weekend of my choice) but 3x a week is much more manageable.
• Go do something social once every month.  (I can hear you all saying, "Really?  That's it?" but that's pretty good for me.)
• Buy coffee no more than 2x per week.

Four is probably plenty, since my resolutions never last past February and because I've got all my bases (academic, physical, social, financial) covered.  But hey!  I'll keep track of how things work and let you know how long I can hold out for!!!

How was your break?  Any New Year's Eve plans that you'd like me to join you for?  Do you have any resolutions that you intend to leave behind in less than two weeks?  Let me (and everyone else) know in the comments!!

It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas

I tried to get a good picture but he's crazy this morning

First, let me just say Congrats!  To you, and you, and you, and me, but most especially to the first years.  Way to survive!  And you know what, exams get easier from here on out.  They're still just as difficult substantively, but you know exactly what they look like now.  No scary surprises to be had.

And with that being said, I'm assuming you're all at home now with your families.  I've been here since Wednesday, and let me say I know I'm home, since my mom just uttered the words, "You do all the baking, and..."  Yep, I'm home.

Now, I don't know about you, but I still need to write an exam and get some serious work done on my article.  So I've got quite a bit of writing to do.  But there are also cookies to make and a big white lab to love on who just came in from his morning walk, with the drool around his mouth frozen into icicles.

I guess what I'm saying is, enjoy your holiday and get some relaxation in.  You need it.  I would also recommend getting a giant 100 pound lab puppy to keep from getting on the kitchen counters with a resounding chorus of "Loki, NO!"  It keeps everyone occupied.

Look out!! It's A Linkstorm!!!

I have my last final today.  (Yay!)  Of course it's evidence.  And while I understand what conditional relevancy is, what the HELL does it look like on paper?  I find myself asking that for a lot of these topics.  "Well, sure, I know how it works, but I have no idea how I'm going to know what I'm looking at."  Of course, I just did 422 practice problems over the course of 2 days, and had a general 70% success rate.  That translates to B in law school world.  I can handle a B.  Which means I'm taking a study break to look at things on the INTERNETS.  And so should you.

So when you get a chance or need a 15-minute mental break, here are some fun things to go look at on the internets:

Law and Order fans should get a kick out of this one.  Don't feel obligated to look at everything, but you should definitely click through the coloring book and the Valentine's Day one.  http://brandonbird.com/artisticintent.html

Clearly Indiana lawyers suck at life since they are always getting disbarred for things like battery and prostitution.  I should probably be looking for jobs there, since there seem to be openings all the time.  http://abovethelaw.com/2010/12/another-lawyer-bites-the-dust-gets-caught-with-a-prostitute/

Good news, guys!  Lawyers didn't make this list!  (But we're probably number 11.)  http://gawker.com/5710624/the-10-most-depressing-jobs-in-america?skyline=true&s=i

Yes, I know this is sexist, but come on.  They compare Salma Hayek to International Shoe!  That is awesome!  http://abovethelaw.com/2010/12/fame-brief-salma-hayek-brings-heat-boobs-to-scotus-immigration-debate/#more-48073

Yes, I know that your ConLaw exam was difficult, but let's face it:  A world with no Constitution would be REALLY creepy:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a32OZe2pgnM

And as long as you're there.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VESzLBqx7KY

Scalia is the funniest SCOTUS justice!  And not because we all make fun of him!  (Also not because he is the funniest looking.)  http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/31/politics/31mirth.html?_r=2

And this, as a friend of mine said, is why you bring up cold feet BEFORE you cut the checks:  http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/12/jilted-bride-sues-ex-fiance-for-95k-for-cancelling-wedding.html

Sure, it's creepy.  But think of the hearsay implications!  http://www.abajournal.com/weekly/article/parrots_comments_aid_police_in_elder_abuse_case?utm_source=maestro&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weekly_email

See!  I TOLD all of you that Hogwarts was a dangerous place to be!!  http://www.lawhaha.com/harmless_display.asp?RecNo=33

Law School Tip #7

Let's be honest guys:  There's really no 

such thing as hearsay.

No Radio Silence Here

It's finally Friday!  And congratulations, you have survived a whole week of finals!  Just look at you go!  Soon you'll be home and your mom will be baking you cookies, and your family will be looking at you with that golden glow of "Well, at least we did one thing right.  This one's in law school."

Or at least that's what I imagine it's like for other people.  The second I get home I get handed a cookbook and get told to make cookies for other people while everyone else drinks spiked eggnog and mocks me.  (I love Christmas.)

Anyway, here at RWF, we like to celebrate those small moments, the ones that make you feel special and good about yourself.  That's why Friday posts are generally full of fun material that you didn't actually need but are a great way to procrastinate.

Actually, I'm lazy and have my last final on Monday.  My brain is fried from yesterday's final still.  So you get stuff that is not actually advice.   (People, I can't always be giving advice.  I am only human.  Maybe I would like someone to give me some pointers once in a while.  What do you think about THAT?)

Anyway, in the spirit of giving, I am going to gift you with a small sampling of the music that has been making me happy the last two weeks and keeping me from collapsing in my wooden chair at the library. I guess this could lead to advice.  Your advice?  Make a Pandora account like all the other normal people and listen to it for hours a week, until Pandora recommends that you just buy their full service since you've listened to over fifty hours that month.  Anyway, to the listing:

1.  Regina Spektor, Folding Chair:  Who doesn't love a song about pretending you're on a beach with your toes sinking into the sand instead of sitting by yourself in an empty room?  It makes me smile with my whole face.  Which has led to some weird looks as everyone wonders what you're so happy about.  This is not the official video, but it was the cutest one I could find.

2.  Kate Nash Doo Wah Do:  You know that one song that makes you think of that one person?  Yeah, this one is it.  And it's not very nice either.  And the non-radio edit version really does end in the word bitch. Which is so. much. better.  This time, official video yayness!

3.  Joy Williams, One of Those Days:  "It's all going just so perfectly wrong."  You sing it girl.  I have nothing more to say about this except seriously: have you EVER heard such a happy bad day song?  No.  You haven't.  Just own up and move on.

I'll stop there, but you get the idea.  What can I say?  I guess when the going gets tough, the tough get boppy?  I cannot help it.  Other things that have been on replay in quick list form?

The Weepies Be My Honeypie

Sara Bareilles Basketcase

Ben Folds You Don't Know Me At All

Julieta Venegas Bien o Mal

The White Stripes We're Going to Be Friends

Adele My Same

What's been getting you through your day?  Let everyone know below!

Also, today I messed with html for the first time in order to get these videos the right size.  I learned something new!  Now back to Evidence....

Loose Lips Sink Ships...and Other Things, I'm Sure....

Oh my, is it Wednesday already?  Guess it's that time again.  Time for me to pull forth some wisdom.  Here's a good one, said in my best ironically white girl voice, "Hataz gonna hate, yo."  (Actually, it's better if you imagine it in the "Bueller." voice.  Or possibly as Jack Donaghy.  And replace "yo" with "Lemon.")


Look, here's the deal:  Don't talk about the exam.  Don't talk about the exam.  Don't talk about the exam.*  Not with anybody.  Not for any reason.  And everyone is going to want to talk about it.  Politely decline.  And when you get badgered about it, decline more forcefully.  And when the other person won't let it go, find someone else to talk to.  In the words of far too many classic British novels, give them the "cut direct."

Why?  Because talking about the exam can only lead to one thing:  Panic.

They're going to tell you how they answered, you're going to tell them how you answered, they're going to attempt to convince you that they were right, you're going to battle your answer, and then you're going to start panicking.  "Is he right?  Did I completely misunderstand that question?  Dammit.  A had AIDS and didn't know it, and was shot by B, and began dripping blood into C's open wound..."**

Cut it out.  You already defended your answer.  FOR THREE HOURS.  To someone with a much higher degree than whoever you're talking to now.  For the love of God, it doesn't matter anymore!  It's over!  You're both going to get whatever you get!  Also, anyone who needs to defend their answer to YOU, another student, is really insecure about the answer they gave, so don't bother explaining yourself.  Just smile, nod, and give noncommittal answers.

When trying to explain to other people that I don't talk about tests in specifics, I've actually gotten the answer, "Well, it's the only thing that makes me feel better."  Unfortunately, "Good for you.  Shut up or go find someone else to talk to," is not an appropriate response in this situation.  I find that, "Oh, it just makes me feel sick," or "Yeah, I just hate doing that," and then changing the subject works unless you've got someone really persistent.

Of course, you can also handle this the immature way, as I have done and just start making things up.  If you can't stop the other person from talking, create rules in your head and just apply them.  Make the other person think they REALLY screwed it up, and then walk away saying, "Well, I'm sure you were right.  Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.  Bye!"  Then go to lunch and have a beer with people who WON'T talk about the exam.

In other news, thanks to my friend Logan who goes to University of Cincinnati Law for sending a couple new people here!  I've known Logan since I was 11 years old and I have incriminating evidence about what color mythical creature*** he would like to be.  And yes, I have it in writing.

How did your first exams go?  Also, what kind of mythical creature would you like to be, whether cool or uncool?

______________________________
*With the exception of "It was good/bad; I feel confident/nervous; I hope grades post soon/never."
**That was actually part of a torts exam given a couple years ago.
***And NOT a badass mythical creature.

Law School Tip #6

Don't take three bar courses in one 

semester.  You will wish for death.

Pressure! Pushing Down on Me! Pushing Down on You!

I know, I know I promised!  And it's still the weekend!  On mountain time.  Which I am not on.  So we'll call this Monday's post.  I guess.

Anyway, in my mad rush to study (I'm pretty proud that I've learned the basics of business organizations class in less than a week, thanks Barbri!) I made an glass-half-empty promise that I would put up my best exam tips.

Note:  These have nothing to do with your class material.  I cannot actually help you pass your exams.  They are not proven by any sort of scientific study, and as such would not pass the Daubert test.*  One size does not fit all.  This works for me, and may work for you.  So without further ado:

THE THINGS THAT HELP ME PASS:

5.  Get a good seat.  At my school, seats are not assigned, but they try to set up the classroom so that everyone will have empty space on both sides.  If you get there late, you will have to sit next to people.  They will get in your way, especially in an open book exam.

4.  Just wear the damn earplugs.  So they look ridiculous?  So what!  Have you ever heard rain on a tin roof during a really strong storm?  Can you at least imagine it?  That's the sound of 50 other people, typing furiously in hopes to get there exam done before the time is up.

3.  You know this.  Go into the exam telling yourself that you know the material.  Because here's the thing:  even if you don't, it doesn't matter.  You're taking the exam right then, no matter what, and you can't study anymore anyway.  Especially in a closed-book exam where you can't go hunt down a clue either.  Just tell yourself you know it and it's not a problem.

2.  Find your zen.  Most law exams consist of 2-4 essay questions over a 3 hour period.  This seems like a lot of time.  It IS a lot of time.  Or at least it's a lot of time in that you can take a breather.  Read the question, read it again and mark it up, outline it, write it.  Then close your eyes and count to five while taking deep breaths.  Clear that question out of your mind, you don't want to get confused.  And you have 5-10 seconds to do it!  Don't just keep rushing through!   If you don't have the extra minute to zen yourself, you weren't going to finish anyway.

1.  Get up and go.  I generally finish exams early, though not everyone does.  When I feel like there's nothing left for me to say, like I've explored every fact pattern and possibility, I pack up and leave.  There's no reason to sit there and torture yourself.  If you did your best, you did your best.  At this point, either go home or go wait for friends to get lunch/dinner together in celebration for finishing another exam.  But don't talk about the exam!  Remember, you did your best.  Don't second guess yourself.

Above all, just remember:  Stay calm.  You haven't studied this hard all semester to fail now, so YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.

Now, I need to remember all of this for tomorrow's (today's) exam in Business Organizations...

Do you have any exam tips?  Comment below! 


____________________________________
*Did I mean the Frye test?  I don't start studying Evidence until Wednesday....

I Need a Hug

Can we just talk about me for a minute?  I'm having my usual semester-ly crisis of self and having had a bad day yesterday, I'm feeling a little down and out.  Plus, my iTunes keeps playing "Life sucks, then you die" music which is not helping my mood even a little bit.

I like dead bodies.  Not in a necrophiliac way, you sicko, I just like how informative bodies are.  From the time I was thirteen, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist and cut up dead bodies.  I would have been good at that too because you don't have to talk to anybody.  You examine the body, fill out the proper paperwork, and may be called to testify on your findings, etc.  You have no idea how much I hate talking to people.

I'm not bad at public speaking, mind you.  I rather ENJOY public speaking.  I'm bad at CONVERSATIONS.  There's a big difference there.  It's why I prefer to study at home than go out and socialize.  The idea of having a conversation with someone I don't know well makes me feel like vomiting.

So back to my previous point, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist.  But when I explained what that was to my mother, it wasn't received well.  "Are you kidding?  I'm supposed to tell people that my daughter cuts up DEAD PEOPLE for a living?"  (My mother denies this conversation ever happened.  But I know it did, because (1) My mother forgets a lot of conversations, and (2) It was TRAUMATIC, people.)  So cutting up dead people was out since my family seemed horrified by it.

I had a very difficult time picking out a major in college.  Regardless of the bad spelling, grammar, and idea-flow that generally characterizes this blog, I'm actually a great writer.  I'm SMART dammit!  (For any who have watched the "Very Potter Sequel" on Youtube, I feel like the song "The Coolest Girl" is my whole life.)  Point being, as many law students will tell you, getting a bachelor's degree was something of a joke.  But like a homeschooler entering public school for the first time, I totally needed the socialization so it was probably good for me.

I eventually became an anthropology major because people without a life plan get a liberal arts degree and hope things work out.  My favorite classes involved evolutionary theory and osteology.  (Our osteology final was a bunch of small bones and bone fragments in a box.  We had to figure out what all the bones were, separate the animal bones from the human ones, and determine how many people were in the box.  There were three people by the way.  Three completely unmatched patellas just GAVE it away.)

Anyway, I would have made a great anthropologist, because while you have conversations, you don't have to talk, just listen and ask the right questions.  I learned how to do ethnographic interviews and transmit my findings.  I learned how to examine the heck out of ancient documents.  (I can read a census out of the early 1800s and pull all SORTS of interesting information out of it.)  I can develop a thesis, research that thesis, and write a kickass paper on it in a matter of hours.  (It's true.  I once wrote a twenty-page term paper on the use of traditional aztec rhythms and instruments in Mexican nationalist music in three days.)  I can design an entire course for freshman students, and I can talk about why primates are AWESOME for hours.

But that only translates so well to the law.  Especially the monkey part.  Interestingly, attorneys don't want to hear about why chimpanzee language use is absolutely breathtaking or that the Azande's justice system revolves around sorcery and black magic.  And even if they did, I wouldn't be able to tell them about it.  *See above, about not being able to talk to strangers.*

Most days I feel like I ended up here because I didn't know what else to do.  What I do know is that I'm among the thousands of twenty-somethings who are asking "How did I end up in law school?"  and more importantly, "What do I do now?"

In Absentia

So I was thinking the other day, "You know, I promised myself I would keep up with the blog, but I just haven't been.  I'm feeling a little guilty."  And then I checked one of my other favorite blogs last night, and saw what basically felt like an admonition for not posting regularly.  It's like my internet hero swooped down and shook her finger at me for not complaining to all 20 of you who read this.  (And yes, I know there are at LEAST 20 of you.  I've checked the stats.)  So let me apologize.  And then let me say:

I AM STUDYING 15 HOURS A DAY FOR FINALS.

Seriously, LSBFF sent me a text yesterday that said, "Are you in the library or dead in a ditch somewhere?"  (It's so good to know someone cares.)

Point being, I have to go outline now (and forever).  Things are going to be irregular for a couple weeks.  But I'm going to throw up my handy dandy exam tips that have nothing to do with substantive material over the weekend.

Can I offer you some advice right now?  Quit trying to win on a technicality.  Professors generally don't CARE about technicalities.  They have 80 exams to grade.  Figure out the rules, a couple general policy concerns, and get ready to write an essay or two.  Seriously, there is NO POINT in trying to understand all of Wigmore's and Blackstone's advice now.  They are a million years old and all of their advice has been codified into one form or another by now anyway if it matters to a single legislature in the United States.  If it hasn't been, then their advice was probably stupid anyway.  Also, your professor doesn't care about it.  80 students, 240 essays to read.  They're just skimming for the rules and how you apply them anyway.

In other words: Study like myself and my father before me.  The KISS method:  Keep It Simple, Stupid.  My daddy taught me that when I was 11, and it hasn't failed me yet.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to hit 45 hours on Pandora by Sunday while trying desperately to understand what's going on in my courses.

For all you other law students/undergraduate students/graduate students in other disciplines:  Just hold out.  It's just a couple tests for the love of Pete.*

Go ahead, wish each other luck below.  You know that karma wants you to.

__________________
*Who is Pete anyway?