Happy Days Are Here Again!

How Can You Not Love This?

Let me announce right here my retroactive holiday break.  It should have lasted about a week and a half.  

Okay, now that that's over, back to your regularly scheduled Running With Fireworks Content.  But before we speak of the future, let's speak of the past.  Here's what has happened to me in the past few days:

• I learned to drink my coffee black because I was too lazy to hunt down milk and sugar at my parents house, knowing that those two items are kept on opposite sides of the kitchen from the coffee pot.
• I wrote a final exam!  In two days!
• I went to two different Christmas celebrations.  Other people's family traditions are weird.  But then again, so are ours.
• I went to Cebolla's twice.  If you have ever been to Cebolla's in Fort Wayne, Indiana, you know this is cause for celebration.  However, I had to go to the Fernhill location, because they closed the bar for the night at the Dupont location.  What is UP with that?  Who goes to a Mexican restaurant where they will be denied tequila-laden beverages?
• I played with Loki-fur.  If you play dead in front of him, he tries to wake you up, and then when you stand up, he jumps around excitedly.  "Hey, I'm Jesus Dog!"
• My parents won a new Wii at the company Christmas party.  Realizing I wouldn't get the new one, I started dropping hints that I wanted the old one.  Then I pleaded.  Then I begged.  Then, not receiving an answer one way or the other, I just boxed it up and stole it.  New Wii for me!

Next up?  Headed back to Chicago tomorrow to celebrate 2011 and better days for all of us.  Also to kill myself finishing up my article.  Also to start my reading for my first classes.  Also to try to remember where and when I said I'd volunteer this semester.  I know I'm at Pritzker and doing DV work, but....yeah.  

Anyway, while I'm not one for New Years Resolutions, I thought I'd throw a couple out there just for the fun of seeing how long I have until I break them.

• Stay a week ahead in my reading.  I've done this before and it really helps me stay on top of things.
• Exercise at least 3 times every week.  The goal is every day (except one day on the weekend of my choice) but 3x a week is much more manageable.
• Go do something social once every month.  (I can hear you all saying, "Really?  That's it?" but that's pretty good for me.)
• Buy coffee no more than 2x per week.

Four is probably plenty, since my resolutions never last past February and because I've got all my bases (academic, physical, social, financial) covered.  But hey!  I'll keep track of how things work and let you know how long I can hold out for!!!

How was your break?  Any New Year's Eve plans that you'd like me to join you for?  Do you have any resolutions that you intend to leave behind in less than two weeks?  Let me (and everyone else) know in the comments!!

It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas

I tried to get a good picture but he's crazy this morning

First, let me just say Congrats!  To you, and you, and you, and me, but most especially to the first years.  Way to survive!  And you know what, exams get easier from here on out.  They're still just as difficult substantively, but you know exactly what they look like now.  No scary surprises to be had.

And with that being said, I'm assuming you're all at home now with your families.  I've been here since Wednesday, and let me say I know I'm home, since my mom just uttered the words, "You do all the baking, and..."  Yep, I'm home.

Now, I don't know about you, but I still need to write an exam and get some serious work done on my article.  So I've got quite a bit of writing to do.  But there are also cookies to make and a big white lab to love on who just came in from his morning walk, with the drool around his mouth frozen into icicles.

I guess what I'm saying is, enjoy your holiday and get some relaxation in.  You need it.  I would also recommend getting a giant 100 pound lab puppy to keep from getting on the kitchen counters with a resounding chorus of "Loki, NO!"  It keeps everyone occupied.

Look out!! It's A Linkstorm!!!

I have my last final today.  (Yay!)  Of course it's evidence.  And while I understand what conditional relevancy is, what the HELL does it look like on paper?  I find myself asking that for a lot of these topics.  "Well, sure, I know how it works, but I have no idea how I'm going to know what I'm looking at."  Of course, I just did 422 practice problems over the course of 2 days, and had a general 70% success rate.  That translates to B in law school world.  I can handle a B.  Which means I'm taking a study break to look at things on the INTERNETS.  And so should you.

So when you get a chance or need a 15-minute mental break, here are some fun things to go look at on the internets:

Law and Order fans should get a kick out of this one.  Don't feel obligated to look at everything, but you should definitely click through the coloring book and the Valentine's Day one.  http://brandonbird.com/artisticintent.html

Clearly Indiana lawyers suck at life since they are always getting disbarred for things like battery and prostitution.  I should probably be looking for jobs there, since there seem to be openings all the time.  http://abovethelaw.com/2010/12/another-lawyer-bites-the-dust-gets-caught-with-a-prostitute/

Good news, guys!  Lawyers didn't make this list!  (But we're probably number 11.)  http://gawker.com/5710624/the-10-most-depressing-jobs-in-america?skyline=true&s=i

Yes, I know this is sexist, but come on.  They compare Salma Hayek to International Shoe!  That is awesome!  http://abovethelaw.com/2010/12/fame-brief-salma-hayek-brings-heat-boobs-to-scotus-immigration-debate/#more-48073

Yes, I know that your ConLaw exam was difficult, but let's face it:  A world with no Constitution would be REALLY creepy:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a32OZe2pgnM

And as long as you're there.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VESzLBqx7KY

Scalia is the funniest SCOTUS justice!  And not because we all make fun of him!  (Also not because he is the funniest looking.)  http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/31/politics/31mirth.html?_r=2

And this, as a friend of mine said, is why you bring up cold feet BEFORE you cut the checks:  http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/12/jilted-bride-sues-ex-fiance-for-95k-for-cancelling-wedding.html

Sure, it's creepy.  But think of the hearsay implications!  http://www.abajournal.com/weekly/article/parrots_comments_aid_police_in_elder_abuse_case?utm_source=maestro&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weekly_email

See!  I TOLD all of you that Hogwarts was a dangerous place to be!!  http://www.lawhaha.com/harmless_display.asp?RecNo=33

Law School Tip #7

Let's be honest guys:  There's really no 

such thing as hearsay.

No Radio Silence Here

It's finally Friday!  And congratulations, you have survived a whole week of finals!  Just look at you go!  Soon you'll be home and your mom will be baking you cookies, and your family will be looking at you with that golden glow of "Well, at least we did one thing right.  This one's in law school."

Or at least that's what I imagine it's like for other people.  The second I get home I get handed a cookbook and get told to make cookies for other people while everyone else drinks spiked eggnog and mocks me.  (I love Christmas.)

Anyway, here at RWF, we like to celebrate those small moments, the ones that make you feel special and good about yourself.  That's why Friday posts are generally full of fun material that you didn't actually need but are a great way to procrastinate.

Actually, I'm lazy and have my last final on Monday.  My brain is fried from yesterday's final still.  So you get stuff that is not actually advice.   (People, I can't always be giving advice.  I am only human.  Maybe I would like someone to give me some pointers once in a while.  What do you think about THAT?)

Anyway, in the spirit of giving, I am going to gift you with a small sampling of the music that has been making me happy the last two weeks and keeping me from collapsing in my wooden chair at the library. I guess this could lead to advice.  Your advice?  Make a Pandora account like all the other normal people and listen to it for hours a week, until Pandora recommends that you just buy their full service since you've listened to over fifty hours that month.  Anyway, to the listing:

1.  Regina Spektor, Folding Chair:  Who doesn't love a song about pretending you're on a beach with your toes sinking into the sand instead of sitting by yourself in an empty room?  It makes me smile with my whole face.  Which has led to some weird looks as everyone wonders what you're so happy about.  This is not the official video, but it was the cutest one I could find.

2.  Kate Nash Doo Wah Do:  You know that one song that makes you think of that one person?  Yeah, this one is it.  And it's not very nice either.  And the non-radio edit version really does end in the word bitch. Which is so. much. better.  This time, official video yayness!

3.  Joy Williams, One of Those Days:  "It's all going just so perfectly wrong."  You sing it girl.  I have nothing more to say about this except seriously: have you EVER heard such a happy bad day song?  No.  You haven't.  Just own up and move on.

I'll stop there, but you get the idea.  What can I say?  I guess when the going gets tough, the tough get boppy?  I cannot help it.  Other things that have been on replay in quick list form?

The Weepies Be My Honeypie

Sara Bareilles Basketcase

Ben Folds You Don't Know Me At All

Julieta Venegas Bien o Mal

The White Stripes We're Going to Be Friends

Adele My Same

What's been getting you through your day?  Let everyone know below!

Also, today I messed with html for the first time in order to get these videos the right size.  I learned something new!  Now back to Evidence....

Loose Lips Sink Ships...and Other Things, I'm Sure....

Oh my, is it Wednesday already?  Guess it's that time again.  Time for me to pull forth some wisdom.  Here's a good one, said in my best ironically white girl voice, "Hataz gonna hate, yo."  (Actually, it's better if you imagine it in the "Bueller." voice.  Or possibly as Jack Donaghy.  And replace "yo" with "Lemon.")


Look, here's the deal:  Don't talk about the exam.  Don't talk about the exam.  Don't talk about the exam.*  Not with anybody.  Not for any reason.  And everyone is going to want to talk about it.  Politely decline.  And when you get badgered about it, decline more forcefully.  And when the other person won't let it go, find someone else to talk to.  In the words of far too many classic British novels, give them the "cut direct."

Why?  Because talking about the exam can only lead to one thing:  Panic.

They're going to tell you how they answered, you're going to tell them how you answered, they're going to attempt to convince you that they were right, you're going to battle your answer, and then you're going to start panicking.  "Is he right?  Did I completely misunderstand that question?  Dammit.  A had AIDS and didn't know it, and was shot by B, and began dripping blood into C's open wound..."**

Cut it out.  You already defended your answer.  FOR THREE HOURS.  To someone with a much higher degree than whoever you're talking to now.  For the love of God, it doesn't matter anymore!  It's over!  You're both going to get whatever you get!  Also, anyone who needs to defend their answer to YOU, another student, is really insecure about the answer they gave, so don't bother explaining yourself.  Just smile, nod, and give noncommittal answers.

When trying to explain to other people that I don't talk about tests in specifics, I've actually gotten the answer, "Well, it's the only thing that makes me feel better."  Unfortunately, "Good for you.  Shut up or go find someone else to talk to," is not an appropriate response in this situation.  I find that, "Oh, it just makes me feel sick," or "Yeah, I just hate doing that," and then changing the subject works unless you've got someone really persistent.

Of course, you can also handle this the immature way, as I have done and just start making things up.  If you can't stop the other person from talking, create rules in your head and just apply them.  Make the other person think they REALLY screwed it up, and then walk away saying, "Well, I'm sure you were right.  Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.  Bye!"  Then go to lunch and have a beer with people who WON'T talk about the exam.

In other news, thanks to my friend Logan who goes to University of Cincinnati Law for sending a couple new people here!  I've known Logan since I was 11 years old and I have incriminating evidence about what color mythical creature*** he would like to be.  And yes, I have it in writing.

How did your first exams go?  Also, what kind of mythical creature would you like to be, whether cool or uncool?

______________________________
*With the exception of "It was good/bad; I feel confident/nervous; I hope grades post soon/never."
**That was actually part of a torts exam given a couple years ago.
***And NOT a badass mythical creature.

Law School Tip #6

Don't take three bar courses in one 

semester.  You will wish for death.

Pressure! Pushing Down on Me! Pushing Down on You!

I know, I know I promised!  And it's still the weekend!  On mountain time.  Which I am not on.  So we'll call this Monday's post.  I guess.

Anyway, in my mad rush to study (I'm pretty proud that I've learned the basics of business organizations class in less than a week, thanks Barbri!) I made an glass-half-empty promise that I would put up my best exam tips.

Note:  These have nothing to do with your class material.  I cannot actually help you pass your exams.  They are not proven by any sort of scientific study, and as such would not pass the Daubert test.*  One size does not fit all.  This works for me, and may work for you.  So without further ado:

THE THINGS THAT HELP ME PASS:

5.  Get a good seat.  At my school, seats are not assigned, but they try to set up the classroom so that everyone will have empty space on both sides.  If you get there late, you will have to sit next to people.  They will get in your way, especially in an open book exam.

4.  Just wear the damn earplugs.  So they look ridiculous?  So what!  Have you ever heard rain on a tin roof during a really strong storm?  Can you at least imagine it?  That's the sound of 50 other people, typing furiously in hopes to get there exam done before the time is up.

3.  You know this.  Go into the exam telling yourself that you know the material.  Because here's the thing:  even if you don't, it doesn't matter.  You're taking the exam right then, no matter what, and you can't study anymore anyway.  Especially in a closed-book exam where you can't go hunt down a clue either.  Just tell yourself you know it and it's not a problem.

2.  Find your zen.  Most law exams consist of 2-4 essay questions over a 3 hour period.  This seems like a lot of time.  It IS a lot of time.  Or at least it's a lot of time in that you can take a breather.  Read the question, read it again and mark it up, outline it, write it.  Then close your eyes and count to five while taking deep breaths.  Clear that question out of your mind, you don't want to get confused.  And you have 5-10 seconds to do it!  Don't just keep rushing through!   If you don't have the extra minute to zen yourself, you weren't going to finish anyway.

1.  Get up and go.  I generally finish exams early, though not everyone does.  When I feel like there's nothing left for me to say, like I've explored every fact pattern and possibility, I pack up and leave.  There's no reason to sit there and torture yourself.  If you did your best, you did your best.  At this point, either go home or go wait for friends to get lunch/dinner together in celebration for finishing another exam.  But don't talk about the exam!  Remember, you did your best.  Don't second guess yourself.

Above all, just remember:  Stay calm.  You haven't studied this hard all semester to fail now, so YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.

Now, I need to remember all of this for tomorrow's (today's) exam in Business Organizations...

Do you have any exam tips?  Comment below! 


____________________________________
*Did I mean the Frye test?  I don't start studying Evidence until Wednesday....

I Need a Hug

Can we just talk about me for a minute?  I'm having my usual semester-ly crisis of self and having had a bad day yesterday, I'm feeling a little down and out.  Plus, my iTunes keeps playing "Life sucks, then you die" music which is not helping my mood even a little bit.

I like dead bodies.  Not in a necrophiliac way, you sicko, I just like how informative bodies are.  From the time I was thirteen, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist and cut up dead bodies.  I would have been good at that too because you don't have to talk to anybody.  You examine the body, fill out the proper paperwork, and may be called to testify on your findings, etc.  You have no idea how much I hate talking to people.

I'm not bad at public speaking, mind you.  I rather ENJOY public speaking.  I'm bad at CONVERSATIONS.  There's a big difference there.  It's why I prefer to study at home than go out and socialize.  The idea of having a conversation with someone I don't know well makes me feel like vomiting.

So back to my previous point, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist.  But when I explained what that was to my mother, it wasn't received well.  "Are you kidding?  I'm supposed to tell people that my daughter cuts up DEAD PEOPLE for a living?"  (My mother denies this conversation ever happened.  But I know it did, because (1) My mother forgets a lot of conversations, and (2) It was TRAUMATIC, people.)  So cutting up dead people was out since my family seemed horrified by it.

I had a very difficult time picking out a major in college.  Regardless of the bad spelling, grammar, and idea-flow that generally characterizes this blog, I'm actually a great writer.  I'm SMART dammit!  (For any who have watched the "Very Potter Sequel" on Youtube, I feel like the song "The Coolest Girl" is my whole life.)  Point being, as many law students will tell you, getting a bachelor's degree was something of a joke.  But like a homeschooler entering public school for the first time, I totally needed the socialization so it was probably good for me.

I eventually became an anthropology major because people without a life plan get a liberal arts degree and hope things work out.  My favorite classes involved evolutionary theory and osteology.  (Our osteology final was a bunch of small bones and bone fragments in a box.  We had to figure out what all the bones were, separate the animal bones from the human ones, and determine how many people were in the box.  There were three people by the way.  Three completely unmatched patellas just GAVE it away.)

Anyway, I would have made a great anthropologist, because while you have conversations, you don't have to talk, just listen and ask the right questions.  I learned how to do ethnographic interviews and transmit my findings.  I learned how to examine the heck out of ancient documents.  (I can read a census out of the early 1800s and pull all SORTS of interesting information out of it.)  I can develop a thesis, research that thesis, and write a kickass paper on it in a matter of hours.  (It's true.  I once wrote a twenty-page term paper on the use of traditional aztec rhythms and instruments in Mexican nationalist music in three days.)  I can design an entire course for freshman students, and I can talk about why primates are AWESOME for hours.

But that only translates so well to the law.  Especially the monkey part.  Interestingly, attorneys don't want to hear about why chimpanzee language use is absolutely breathtaking or that the Azande's justice system revolves around sorcery and black magic.  And even if they did, I wouldn't be able to tell them about it.  *See above, about not being able to talk to strangers.*

Most days I feel like I ended up here because I didn't know what else to do.  What I do know is that I'm among the thousands of twenty-somethings who are asking "How did I end up in law school?"  and more importantly, "What do I do now?"

In Absentia

So I was thinking the other day, "You know, I promised myself I would keep up with the blog, but I just haven't been.  I'm feeling a little guilty."  And then I checked one of my other favorite blogs last night, and saw what basically felt like an admonition for not posting regularly.  It's like my internet hero swooped down and shook her finger at me for not complaining to all 20 of you who read this.  (And yes, I know there are at LEAST 20 of you.  I've checked the stats.)  So let me apologize.  And then let me say:

I AM STUDYING 15 HOURS A DAY FOR FINALS.

Seriously, LSBFF sent me a text yesterday that said, "Are you in the library or dead in a ditch somewhere?"  (It's so good to know someone cares.)

Point being, I have to go outline now (and forever).  Things are going to be irregular for a couple weeks.  But I'm going to throw up my handy dandy exam tips that have nothing to do with substantive material over the weekend.

Can I offer you some advice right now?  Quit trying to win on a technicality.  Professors generally don't CARE about technicalities.  They have 80 exams to grade.  Figure out the rules, a couple general policy concerns, and get ready to write an essay or two.  Seriously, there is NO POINT in trying to understand all of Wigmore's and Blackstone's advice now.  They are a million years old and all of their advice has been codified into one form or another by now anyway if it matters to a single legislature in the United States.  If it hasn't been, then their advice was probably stupid anyway.  Also, your professor doesn't care about it.  80 students, 240 essays to read.  They're just skimming for the rules and how you apply them anyway.

In other words: Study like myself and my father before me.  The KISS method:  Keep It Simple, Stupid.  My daddy taught me that when I was 11, and it hasn't failed me yet.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to hit 45 hours on Pandora by Sunday while trying desperately to understand what's going on in my courses.

For all you other law students/undergraduate students/graduate students in other disciplines:  Just hold out.  It's just a couple tests for the love of Pete.*

Go ahead, wish each other luck below.  You know that karma wants you to.

__________________
*Who is Pete anyway?

Law School Tip #5

Learn how semi-colons work. 

Law School Tip #4

How to choose a law school:

Go visit the school with a horrific hangover.  If you still like the school even though you feel like death walking, then you know right where you belong.

Sing Hallelujah Amen!

I know.  I promised I would stop skipping days on this blog.  I made a November resolution to be more organized.  (Of course, I make that resolution every month.)  But I swear I had a good reason, guys!  My final writing assignment for the semester was due on Thursday, and it was a 30 page appellate brief.

So that's it.  I took my last LARC (that's legal writing, or lawyering for the rest of you folks) class this week.  So I thought it might be a good idea to discuss how different people deal with the after-effects of stress.

Some people sleep for hours on end.  Their system just crashes and they just head to their beds and the sweet embrace of dreamland.  Others drink.  Copiously.  The parties that happen after major stress-related events in law school would make our parents gasp.  And then probably sit us on the couch and warn of us of the perils of alcoholism.  I do neither of those things.

I become Suzy Homemaker.

I know I've talked before about how in high stress situations, like final exams, the adrenaline makes my brain clear and I zip through the exam without any nerves at all.  After the exam, however, is another story.  I begin shaking and my stomach feels sick and I want to either pass out or cry.  (I don't mind, of course.  For clarity of mind during exams, it's a VERY small price to pay.)

But like Newton says, a body in motion stays in motion, and after go, go, going, I can't stop.  I can't force myself to relax.  I need to be doing something.  So after my appellate brief was turned in, I started cleaning.  I Lysol-ed my bathroom to death, including the grout, I dusted the baseboards, I windex-ed the mirrors, I scrubbed the toilet, I attacked the bathtub, and I rearranged the cabinets.  Then I moved on to my bedroom, where I threw out all the things I didn't need anymore, rearranged my desk, dusted all of the wooden surfaces, actually made my bed for the first time in a week, and vacuumed.

Guys, by the time I was done, I had to leave my apartment before I passed out from the smell.

Today I went to tutoring, where we got to go to gym with the kids and pretty much played volleyball and basketball against our mentees.  Then when I got home, rather than chilling, or at least sitting still to do my reading, I went to the grocery store.  Where I bought ingredients for things I won't even have time to make.

And when I realized that, I thought, "This might be a good time to start using up what's in my fridge!"  Interestingly, I possessed a whole pineapple.  So I used half of that to make bread.  And then, because I already had the food processor out, proceeded to make mango, strawberry, and pineapple smoothies.  (Because I also had frozen mango and strawberries in the freezer, as well as having bought a giant container of plain yogurt from the grocery store today.  Again for no reason.)  So, you see, when under the ravages of stress, I tend to make sure everyone in my life has warm bread to come home to.

The whole point of this is, of course, I now have an entire loaf of french bread for no reason.

I guess The Boy will be eating french toast with a sweetened yogurt topping at some point this weekend.

Law School Tip #3

Adopt an older student.  They'll tell you all sorts of neat things:  What classes to take, which professors they like best, and which Kinko's is the most efficient for binding your appellate brief for legal writing class.

Affirmation

Sometimes getting through the day here in law school is harder than you might think.  It can be no end of exhausting.  I've had major writing assignments due every single week lately, which is pretty tiring, though the last one is due this Thursday.  So at this point, my goal is just to get through until Friday.  And then its studying for finals right up until the end.  Here are the things I tell myself to make it all better.

I believe in getting up early and going for a nice, hard cardio workout or sleeping in early.  There is no in-between.

I believe in being able to take a joke.  If you can’t take it, you’re not really allowed to dish it out.  And dishing it out is the best part.

I believe breakfast is the most important meal of the day. 

I believe in telling the truth.  Lying is a waste of everybody’s time, not to mention and insult to their intelligence.

I believe in lying.  Telling the truth is a pain in the ass sometimes.

I believe there are no such things as challenges.  As soon as you decide something is hard, it gets harder.  It’s like when you’re running uphill:  if you imagine the road is flat, it’s not as difficult.

I believe that everything happens for a purpose.  And that purpose is to learn from it.  Even in your best moments, you can practice humility, and in your worst moments, you can practice bravery.

I believe in being thankful for my whole life, for every minute of it, and for everything that comes my way.

Basically I just want to be this kid:

What about you?  Is there anything you believe in?

Law School Tip #2

In the choice between celebrating LARC almost being over and crying because you haven't started studying for finals, I recommend procrastination on all counts.

Fashion Forward Fridays: Sharp Dressed Man Edition

“I love ties.” ~ Baby B

Mmmmm….men’s fashion.  While not as obviously complicated as women’s fashion (pantyhose? Pants? Skirt?  500 pairs of shoes??), it still has its little ins and outs that every guy should know about when attempting to dress himself.  And my favorite part of any guy’s outfit?  (Get your mind out of the gutter!)  A good tie.  Here's some tips for buying your perfect tie.

1.  Consider the Color:  Buy your tie when you buy your shirt.  That way you have at least ONE matching tie.  And it needs to match EXACTLY.  No slightly off colors, or everyone will notice.  

2.  Ponder the Pattern:  Striped shirt, solid tie/solid shirt, striped tie.  Just do it and don’t get excited.  (However, I once saw a sharply dressed guy with khakis a striped shirt of yellow and blue and brown shoes.  And a paisley tie.  It was super awesome, but this level is FOR EXPERTS ONLY.)

3.     Mull over the Measure:  Your tie should at least reach your pants.  Seriously, guys.  Buy the right tie length.  Especially if you have a little bit of belly going (I don’t judge.  My pants refused to button the other day), that tie will cut you at the WORST place.

4.     Weight the Width:  Skinny ties are a no.  Unless you’re a hipster.  But we here at RWF make fun of hipsters and Baby B wants to sterilize them so that they can’t reproduce.  So just no skinny ties in general.

5.     Think Gallant, Not Gaudy.  Remember that paisley tie I mentioned earlier?  Patterns are awesome.  Ties with Santa Clauses running the length of them are not.  Especially if you are under the age of 35.  You are only obligated to wear something like that if it was given to you by your clueless children.  And even then, you don’t have to wear it to school/work/etc.  (Well, you might have to.  Children seem to think I’m evil, so I could definitely be wrong on that front.)

Also, thanks to Baby B and Mikey for their invaluable information on men’s fashion!

And to celebrate your newfound knowledge:  Here’s some ZZ Top.  Because God knows, this girl is crazy about a sharp-dressed man.

Any other advice about how to buy/find a great tie?  Ladies and Dudes both welcome to chime in below in the comments!

Law School Tip #1:

You know how they say a picture is worth 1,000 words?  A fully stocked medicine cabinet is so much better than that.

Hitting the Books

It's the end of the semester!  Time to start really hitting the books.  Here are my top 7 BEST study tips.  I'm sharing only because I like you.  (Yes, just you.  There.  Reading this.)

  5.   Location, Location, Location:  Think about where you want to study.  By the time finals came around, I was sick of the library.  So then I had to think about where else I could study.  I wanted people around, but I wanted to be able to plug my computer in so that I could listen to music without draining my battery.  My favorites?  Panera and Einstein’s Bagels.  Free coffee refills, bagels, soup, and they won’t kick you out.  I also studied in other parts of school (that nice little alcove on the second floor or the big heavy wooden tables of the seventh floor), and in my own room.*  By the time the end of the semester came around, I avoided the library like the plague.


4.  Use other people’s outlines:  Many have come before you, many will come after you.  Use other people’s outlines to explain what you didn’t understand, or show you a point of law you’ve missed entirely.
  

     3.  Make your own outlines!  (Or heavily edit someone else’s):  You don’t understand anyone’s language quite like your own, and the whole point of the outline is to put the law in your own words.  But don’t ask me HOW to make an outline.  I did it differently than everybody else.  Which is to say, wrong.**
    

           2.  Study in Frequent Short Bursts:  You can’t study non-stop, you’ll go crazy.  Study often, but not for very long.  Revise and memorize that outline for 45 minutes, take a ten minute break.  Every 3 cycles make a half hour phone call, go get food, watch TV.  Something to take you away from the work.  Don’t take too long to relax, though, or you’ll find it really hard to get back to work.
    

           1.  Don’t go overboard.  Figure out the major themes, and what cases define those major themes.  You studied the cases you studied FOR A REASON.  And that reason was to illustrate an important rule in the law, NOT to know an obscure fact or detail.

What are your well-guarded study secrets that you’re willing to share for the good of all?  Help a friend in the comments!

______________________________

*Not very often though.  Studying in my room is far too distracting.

**Not that doing it wrong didn’t work out.

It's Time to Stop the Lies

I can't go on like this.  The lies must end.  It's time we tell the 1Ls the truth, guys.  Let's just end the feeling of sickening dread and turn it into panic.

Dear 1Ls:

You know how we keep telling you it gets better?  Well, from this moment onward, it gets worse.  There are 40 days left in the semester, and you had best be gearing up for finals.  Got your outlines done yet?  Have you STARTED your outlines yet?  Because you're going to need those.  Soon.

All that studying you've done all semester, the faithful note-taking, the perfect class attendance?  Hopefully it pays off, because you're about to spend ten hours a day by yourself reviewing for three final exams.  And I know your final LARC assignment is due in two weeks.  So good luck finishing that on top of finishing all of your outlining and note-taking.  (Pro Tip:  Get an external hard drive.  You wouldn't be the first person to lose all of your outlines and papers because of an unexpected hard drive crash.  Back up every two days.  At least.)

Do you know what your personal stress symptoms are?  You're about to.  Stress for me manifests as tightness in my jaw and spreads up the side of my face until I have constant migraines.  I know people who throw up from stress.  So, you know, good luck with that.

And after finals, sure you'll feel "good," but you're going to be so stressed out that even when you start NEXT semester you'll be trying too hard.  And then when you realize how you're going overkill, it'll be too late to slow down and relax a little.

AND THEN if you do well, you'll be on lots of committees and journals, stealing any time that you might have had.  (They don't say 2L: They Work You To Death for nothing.)  And you'll still be stressed because you're under the gun.

So yeah, it gets worse.  Good luck with that.

Love,
Me

P.S.  It's almost over.  You'll survive this, trust me.  Everyone before you has, and many after you will.  It's hard as hell, but you'll be fine if you just stay cool.  I promise.

Lawsuits, Lawsuits Everywhere (And No One Willing to Be the Plaintiff)

One of the major problems with law school is seeing lawsuits EVERYWHERE.  Everywhere you turn is another tort, and not of the delicious variety.  Watching people text and cross major intersections is cringe-inducing.  (Contributory/Comparative Negligence!)  Puddles on the floors of restaurants make me downright ill.  (It's a slip and fall waiting to happen!)  Day-to-day life is fraught with future legal responsibilities, which is why it's important to be careful and take care of your fellow man.  Because if you don't your fellow man could sue.

And in many cases, that fellow man does sue.  But how many times do people try to turn frivolity into a lawsuit?  Something tells me its more often than not, though I don't really have statisitics.  On the other hand, how many times do we, as outsiders, perceive something as frivolous litigation, when in reality it's truly important.  For instance, in the McDonald's coffee case, which most people have laughed at a time or two, the plaintiff was an 80 year old woman who had severe third-degree burns in her pelvic region because she was unable to remove her pants in seven seconds or less.  No cup of coffee should do that to a person so fast.  She was rightly awarded a half million dollars.

And if there are so many frivolous cases perceived as important and vice versa, how many cases never materialize at all because the prospective plaintiff does not want to go through the hassle of litigation or sees the case as frivolous herself?  Especially in situations of medical malpractice or insurance litigation, a plaintiff may see herself as too small to fight the red-tape system, or that "it wasn't so bad, after all."  But people, hospitals, corporations, and insurance companies owe their neighbors, clients, and patients a duty of care.  By not confronting the other side, prospective plaintiffs are allowing prospective defendants to set a lower bar when it comes to their duty of care.  A hospital that does not get confronted about its bad behavior when it comes to delineating post-op care is not going to provide good post-op care to the next patient either.

Am I saying that we should all be suing each other non-stop in order to make the world a better place?  No.  Of course not.  But I am saying that if you have a problem, you have the duty to at least stand up and say "enough."  Even if you aren't willing to be a plaintiff.

Gather Around and You Shall Hear...

Of the cite-checking journey of Amanda the Law Student!

Wait, that doesn't work.

Typing this real fast while I scarf down some mac and cheese before class.  (My dietary habits have really gone straight to hell.)

"What is that?" I hear you saying.  THAT is a cite-checking binder and it is 2 inches thick of paper, and 10 hours of work SO FAR.  Some advice for all you 1Ls planning your future:  When thinking of taking on journal responsibilities, think of all the work you'll have to do, then multiply it by two.  Because "Staff Member of ________" really means "Journal Bitch Who Does the Scut Work."

Cite-checking:
1.  Find all of the sources mentioned in the citations you're checking.  They must be PRINT versions or the scanned PDFs of print versions.  Even in the age of the internet, there can be NO internet sources.
2.  Make copies of all of those sources.  However many copies you will need.
3.  Separate those sources by citation.  Put them in a handy tabbed binder.
4.  Get out your handy dandy highlighter because now you get to find what all of the information in the article you're cite-checking refers to in the sources!  Highlight all of that source material so that your editors know exactly where it came from.  Also don't forget the publication/decision date, author's name, page number, and name of journal/reporter.  Or you will have to go back to step 2 and make more copies.
5.  Editing below and above the line.  Remember my "Journal Bitch" comment above?  Yep!  Now you get to go through and make sure EACH of the author's citation formats are correct.  For over 100 sources!  Because the author is a 60 year old man who can't be BOTHERED to format his own citations.  That's why we have staff members!  Then you edit the actual text, to make sure there are no grammar or plagiarism style mistakes.
6.  Turn in your binder to editorial board members who will inevitably tell you that you didn't do it right.
7.  Wait for next hellish assignment.

It's due tomorrow and I haven't started step 5 yet.

Yep.  Worst.  Decision.  Ever.

Anybody out there have a different/similar journal experience they'd like to share?

Chi-Town, I Love You

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure New York is awesome, and San Francisco is a great place to wear flowers in your hair, but there's nothing like Chicago in the fall during this time of year.  The days are warm because of the sun, but the air is perfect sweater weather.  The scarves come out, and its the perfect time for a brisk walk to go get a bite to eat or a cup of coffee.

The other night, coming home from class I saw the Parks and Recreation trucks out.  What were they doing?  Putting the winter lights up in the trees.  When they're on, they light up my way home, twinkling the whole way.  When it gets colder out and starts to snow, the air literally sparkles as your breath steams in front of you in the air.

There aren't a ton of trees out in the city, but the ones I can see out the window right now are a cheery sort of yellow, and if you walk by Grant Park, it's riotous color.  The sun comes up later these days.  It's perfect to leave your curtains open, and let the sun help you wake up.  It reflects on the twisted metal buildings across the street and hits my pillow at exactly 7:08 am.  Good morning, Chicago.  It's time for another wonderful day.

Walking past the bakery every morning is a delight and a temptation.  Is there anything like the smell of warm, fresh-baked bread at 8 am?  Is there anything like being able to stand on the street corner, waiting for the light to change in the crisp air, drinking in that smell of goodness?  The sky's so blue it's blinding, even in October and the people are actually smiling because their commute won't be uncomfortable for the next few weeks.

The buildings are gorgeous, and there's always something unexpected around the corner.  I have the feeling sometimes that I'm right where I ought to be.

Chicago, I love you.

Even if you will have a distinct odor of hobos and french fries tomorrow.

I'm Really Underqualified for This

I gave advice to a couple 1Ls yesterday.  They were curious about the structure of Professor J's take-home contracts exam and how to prepare for it.  My best advice?  Know major themes and edit that paper for a full 24 hours.  That was found insufficient.  I forgot.  1Ls are an anxious, nervous lot who require more guidance than that.  I know.  I was one once, and I had no one to guide me.  Their mentor is a great guy who really wants to help them navigate the shark-infested waters of the first year of law school.  My mentor ditched me before the school year started.  I figured out law school on my own.  Whether that helped or hurt me, I couldn't tell you.  Especially since I apparently did everything wrong/different.  I don't have any mentees, which is probably good considering the fact that I wouldn't have a lot of time for them, but if I had to give general advice, this is what it would be:

1.  Structure.  Structure your days.  Give yourself a schedule.  Tell yourself that you WILL be in the library by 9 am.  I woke up at 6:45 every morning, went to school and read until my first class at 10:30.  I had class from 10:30 to 12, lunch from 12-1, and then I went back to the library at 1 to finish my reading.  I went to my afternoon classes, and then back to the library for any reading I hadn't gotten to yet.  If I had any legal writing to do, it was done at home after class and a break.  Making sure my days had structure was a great way to make sure everything got done, and that I had free time at night.  By staying on top of my schedule, I could almost always quit working at 8 pm and go to the gym or watch tv.

2.  Stay ahead.  This is the best (and only) advice I received before starting law school.  If you stay a week ahead of your reading, it won't matter if you have to skip it now and then to work on something more important, like the interoffice memo due before Thanksgiving break.  You won't get behind if you plan to stay ahead.  It makes the first week grueling, but after that it makes your life so much easier.

3.  Sleep.  I cannot stress the importance of sleep enough.  Most law students don't get enough sleep and are exhausted all the time.  Look, it's better to skip reading that last case tonight so that you can focus in class and take notes tomorrow.  Chances are pretty good that you won't get called on anyway.  I don't know about you, but I'm so much more productive when I sleep, and those who sleep have a stronger immune system.  Remember, you can't afford to get sick.

4.  Medicate.  Don't be ashamed.  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?  If I had taken better care of myself and had seen the doctor when I didn't feel good, I probably wouldn't have gotten swine flu, nearly gotten pneumonia, or landed in the emergency room for poisoning my system.  (And that was all first semester!)  Being sick takes time.  If you have a cold, take that daytime cold medicine to get you through the long schoolday and then take the night time medicine so that you get the sleep you so rightly deserve.  And if your body is trying to tell you something, LISTEN.  Seeing a doctor now could save you a whole day of not being able to get out of bed later.

5.  Synthesize.  You're being tested on themes, not individual cases.  There's a reason you're supposed to be pulling the rules out of those cases, not anything else.  You want to know how the law fits together for the exam, not every random thing that came up in class.  I've seen people study some really stupid things that never came up on the exam.  Every moment you study something useless is a moment you could be sleeping.  (Have I mentioned how important I find sleep?)

But the major piece of advice I would give any 1L is "Take a chill pill."  It's school.  You've been doing school your whole life.  It's just a new kind of learning.  You'll do so much better if you relax and look at the big picture.

You Will Curse the Day You Did Not Do.....

Le sigh.  It is going to be a long week.  I need to work on my article, my appellate brief, my cite-checking assignment, and somehow get all my reading done.  And I should probably start outlining.  Eventually.  It's only Monday morning, and I think I'm ready to have a panic attack.  Why?  Because I have already been annoyed multiple times today!  Shall we count together?

1.  The undergrads.  Dear undergraduate students.  I realize that sometimes you, too, have classes in the Lewis building.  Please take the designated elevators for your building though.  They are larger and there's a skybridge to Lewis.  That way, we law students can take our designated elevators and not have to wait for all five hundred of you to go up first.  Also, if you were NOT the first person there, don't cram yourself onto the elevator.   Seriously.  If I beat you to the line of elevators, I will accidentally-on-purpose hit you in the face with my 30 pound backpack when you try to squeeze me out of said elevator.  (I did that this morning.  Violence is sometimes the answer.)  I don't CARE that you're going to be late to class.  Spend less time on your hair in the morning, and take an earlier train.

2.  Sick.  Ugh.  I HATE being sick.  And it's that lovely cold virus that we all have, so I'm constantly sniffling and sneezing and having everyone glare at me for being a plague rat.  And since everyone thinks I'm going to give them a disease, Nyquil is my only friend.  (And what a glorious friend it is too, considering the construction going on outside my window.)

3.  The Construction Outside My Window.  I don't know what you're doing to the road out there, but must you start jackhammering at 5:30 am?  And those metal plates you've been putting down to cover up the holes you're making?  Yeah, cars driving over those all night is a loud, loud thing.

4.  I'm a loser.  The Boy keeps beating me at Scrabble.  I am the Scrabble Queen!!  This is such an embarrassment to the title.

5.  Phantom of the Opera.  Seriously, if I have to hear the song "All I Ask of You" one more time on Pandora, I will END someone.  I love the website with all my heart, but it seems to think I love listening to Sarah Brightman OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  I don't.  At all.  Not even a little bit.

What Do You Mean I Have to Stay Here? The Sun Finally Came Out!

Have you ever noticed how some days everything is easy, and on other days it's like pulling teeth to get things done.  I promised myself I would get five full pages written on my article today, preferably before Evidence at 2:30.  Well, it's 1:00, I've been working for about 2.5 hours, and I've written one page.  ONE PAGE.  I write a sentence, realize it looks wrong/is on the wrong topic/doesn't flow from the previous sentence, and have to erase it.  And once I finally get it written in an appropriate way, I still have to find support for it from one of the many articles/cases in my 10 pound notebook of research.  

I don't think it's a motivation thing.  Sure, I'm not really feeling motivated, but that's usually the case, so it's nothing new.  I just think some days your brain is so fuzzy that you honestly can't accomplish anything.  And it's not my fault.  I had my phone stolen, so I don't have random texts coming in every half hour or so to make me laugh while I work, and LSBFF forgot her keys last night and I had to let her in late.

Apparently, she was banging on the door to our apartment for a solid fifteen minutes last night before I got out of bed to let her in.  Why?  Because I was asleep, and when I heard the very rhythmic, very loud knocking, I assumed (in my sleepy brain) that LSBFF was decorating the living room and hammering things into the walls.  I was so pissed at her for deciding to decorate in the middle of the night.  Eventually, the thought made its way to my brain that it was insane to decorate in the middle of the night and LSBFF is not insane.  So I got up and let her in.  Of course, in my sleepy state, I wasn't thinking very clearly, so I didn't actually pick up my glasses so that I could see who I was letting into the apartment.  Fortunately, it was my roomie and not a serial killer.  WIN.

Now back to attempting to summarize the justifications of textualism.

Everybody Limbo!

Had a quick conversation with a friend today about how hard it is sometimes to be one of the young folks in law school.  When it comes to legal education, you can go one of two routes:  (1) You can take some time off and make sure this is really what you want, or (2) you can go straight to law school from college so that you don't have time to talk yourself out of it.  Like the majority of law students, I came to the legal world straight out of undergrad, with nary a year to spare, and I'm starting to feel like I'm living in limbo.

There are only 581 days left of this harrowing experience known as law school, but it stretches out before me like an Indiana highway:  Flat, long, and with corn blocking my vision on both sides.  My current goal for coping is to wear blinders like a spooked horse and concentrate on the short term goals immediately before me and try not to notice neither the life that is (hopefully) waiting for me nor the present fun that other people are having.  I'm living in the in-between, where all that matters is this moment, and the short-sightedness is starting to make me antsy.

"In the Divine Comedy, Dante depicts Limbo as the first circle of Hell, located beyond the river Acheron but before the judgment seat of Minos. The virtuous pagans of classical history and mythology inhabit a brightly lit and beautiful—but somber—castle which is seemingly a medieval version of Elysium. They include Hector, Julius Caesar, and Virgil."*

In order for Dante to travel deeper into Hell, he has to wait in Limbo for Virgil to come along and show him around.

If I'm in limbo now, I don't know what that means for the future.

Or if I want my own personal Virgil to show up.

I'm fine without traveling to the ninth circle, but thanks so much!


__________
*Thanks Wikipedia! 

 

I Can Go The Distance. (And So Can You!)

Oh man.  This has been one of those weeks.  On Monday, my body was sure it was Thursday, and it's been confused about why the weekend hasn't started ever since.  Today my goal was just to stay awake and I nearly failed.  Twice.  And since I'm not really in the mood to wax poetic, I gift you with a List.

How To Keep Going Even Though You Want Desperately to Say "Screw It"

1.  Just do it.  Sorry for the Nike endorsement, but seriously quit whining about your sad life and just get it done.  If you're reading and falling asleep (like yours truly) start taking notes in the margins.  If you're trying to write and it's like pulling teeth because you can't figure out what to say (also like yours truly) just start throwing words on a page and make it pretty later.  Seriously.  Don't stop what you're doing just because you're tired or frustrated.  If you stop now, you'll just have to do it later.  Not.  Worth.  It.

2.  Posture.  Have you REALLY thought about your posture?  Slumping in your chair is going to make you sleepier.  If you find your lids closing against  your will, readjust yourself.  Pick your butt slightly out of your chair, stretch your arms way over your head, and take a deep breath while sitting back down.  Make sure that as you make contact with the chair, your shoulders are set back and not rounded.  Open your eyes as wide as you can, just briefly, and breathe deeply into your diaphragm.  Let the oxygen get to your brain, and have your body send your mind a message that denotes your alertness.

3.  Bribery.  Look, I'm not proud of it, but we all get to the point where we've already had a really long day and there's a lot left.  On those days, I bribe myself.  I tell myself, "Two more hours and you can stop on the way home for a library book."  Or, "if you just finish this, you can get Thai takeout on the way home."  There's nothing better for making me get things done than telling myself I can have something I really want.  And it works every time.*

4.  Take a Break.  You can only look at words on a page or a screen for so long before they start to blur together.  Arrange short breaks for yourself on intervals of an hour or so.  My favorites?  If I'm in the library or the student lounge, I like to give myself ten minutes on gchat with a friend every hour.  It gives me something to look forward to when I'm working in solitude, plus it's pretty easy to get back to work.  If I'm at home, I like to pick a favorite song on Itunes and dance in my room.  It gets the blood pumping again, and I get to be goofy for just a few minutes.  Having that extra energy from shaking my sillies out works wonders.

5.  Disney Music.  Yes, I know it's cheesy, but when half the songs are about doing the best you can and being awesome, how can it NOT be great inspiration for when you're feeling a little low?  Sometimes I feel like law school is just one big production of Mulan.**

That's about it.  What do you do when you have to keep going, no matter how much your brain/body is begging you to stop?

_______________________
*I have to admit, sometimes my bribe is as simple as "If you get this done, you can go home.  That's usually enough to get me to do my work.

**Not really.  But it probably is trying to make a man out of me and allow me to bring honor to my family.  Or something.

I Feel Like I'm on a Jungle Safari!

Dear Readers:

I am currently in the same building as one Antonin Scalia.  Soon we will even be in the same library, separated by a mere floor of books.  I'm dressed appropriately to run into a SCOTUS justice of course, as one should be when presented with the opportunity to meet one.  He's also giving a lecture tonight at the Harold Washington library.  A lot of people aren't going, some of them because they don't agree with his opinions.

Neither do I.  Part of my research this semester is on textualism, and Scalia is a very important textualist.  I personally find this doctrine narrow, limiting, and defiant of actual legislative intent.  However, this doesn't mean I don't want to hear him speak.  First of all, it could be good for my research to hear his opinions on originalism and textualism.  Second of all (and more importantly), you don't have to agree with someone to learn from them.

Now, I don't like to get preachy when I write, (see random pictures of puppies and videos of 80s songs,) but I do believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion and you should listen to it.  You're never going to learn the weaknesses of your own argument if you don't listen to someone else's, regardless of how ridiculous you may think it is.*  Use someone else's viewpoints to sharpen your own.

And be humble when it turns out you're wrong.  It's okay to realize that maybe someone else's thoughts were better than yours.  Use that information.  Pick their brain, and let it lead you somewhere good or useful.

So while I don't agree with Scalia that all answers should be found in the "four corners" of a document, I'm excited to find out why he does believe that.  And while I don't believe all of his opinions are good ones, I'm excited to hear how he arrived at them.

After all, you don't get to be a Supreme Court Justice by being stupid.

_____________________
*See, "We don't even HAVE 7-11s on the South Side!"

Fashion Forward Fridays

In this edition of Fashion Forward Fridays, we examine the geekiest, yet most convenient accessory EVER:

The Rolling Backpack

I know, I know. Do I really want to go here? Here's the thing: I noticed a rip in the bottom of my trusty five and a half year old backpack today. Apparently the huge law books are murdering it. So the decision is finally before me: Do I give up and get the rolling backpack?

Pros:

• My vertebrae won't feel collapsed at the end of the day. Books are HEAVY. And carrying four books, a legal pad, my macbook, and a heavy water bottle all day is bad for your back. Apparently you're not supposed to carry more than 10% of your body weight on your back. But I'm not 300 pounds, so you can see how my bag is getting a little uncomfortable.
• I'll have more space. Apparently rolling backpacks are much bigger than they look, and have lots of compartments. So I won't have to dig through my bag as much, and I'll actually be able to carry MORE than I do now, which means less trips between home and school.

Cons:

• They look pretty dorky. It's like you're saying, "I'm so serious, I need a SERIOUS backpack." I don't WANT to be the dorky kid. I want a cute side bag that I can carry with pride.
• They're pricey. The one pictured here retails for $169.95 at the company website. (It's only $101 at Overstock.com, though.) A decent backpack is only $30. Will it last long enough to make it worth the price? (I would appreciate some feedback on this.)

I can't decide what I want to do, but I need to decide before my Macbook falls out of my backpack while I'm walking down State Street.

I Want to Live a Simple Life

Well, it's been a Week, with a Capital W. And it's only Wednesday, which also starts with a W, oddly enough. Things that have happened this week:

1.) I lost my ID

2.) I had to wait in multiple lines, deal with downed servers and waste an extra 20 minutes of my life getting a new ID.

3.) Fifteen minutes after I got my ID, I got an e-mail saying my lost one was found.

4.) I used my new ID to rush around and get stuff ready to turn in for my law review memo which was due at five. I managed to get it done.

5.) It didn't matter because today my SECOND topic was rejected.

I won't lie, after the ID issues and the stress that called, and my night classes this week, and not being able to focus, having my topic rejected for a second time was psychologically damaging.

I've got to be honest: I didn't know what the Law Review was until about October of my first year, when I had to cite a law review for something else. (For anyone who doesn't know, Law Review is a student-run journal. You can grade on if you make the top 10%, or you can write on if you have kickass writing skills.) Meanwhile, other people made Law Review their ultimate first year goal. They had topics in mind and interests ready to go. I graded on accidentally, and am totally lost as to how this whole thing works. I'm not even entirely sure that this is what I want to do, except that I'm told it's this huge honor and you just have to do it.

So I did it. And there I was, at a loss again. I feel like every time I fail at this journal thing, it's supposed to be some sort of sign that I'm not right for this, that I'm not the sort of person who is supposed to do this. Except that I WANT to do something like this for once. Keep a commitment for once in my life and not quit. However, since the universe is busily telling me to give up now, I'm just about ready to give into psychic pressure and throw things out the window.

And this afternoon I just about did. I don't have the personality type the rest of these people have, and maybe I'm just taking a spot from someone who really deserves/wanted it. And maybe I'm not meant to write in a peer-reviewed journal. Sometimes law school just sucks and makes you want to (as I told LSBFF tonight) "Eat Pauly's Pizza, and hopefully choke on it and die." But, fortunately, I didn't eat Pauly's tonight.

LSBFF invited me to join her and two of her best friends tonight for dinner. After a dipped Italian beef sandwich with hot peppers, a short ramble around downtown, and Ghirardelli's ice cream, I feel a lot better. Regardless of what happens, at the end of this, no matter what decision I make about Law Review, I'll still be standing. And if all else fails, there's always Portillo's for some healthy emotional eating.

So much stress, and I have to be up early tomorrow, because they're shutting off the hot water in the building at 8 am. At least that we'll give me plenty of time to do some serious thinking

Our Love is Like A Poem, That Doesn't Work

In the midst of my next assignment being due for Law Review and the onerous amount of reading I have to do for Monday, I had a post about the importance of free speech protection planned out. However, I decided to write about something that's been bothering me for some time.

I was an avid reader all the way through high school, sometimes reading up to fifteen books in a week during the summer. (That's at least two books a day for those of you who are counting.) When authors construct their work, they generally tend to create characters that are likable, memorable, and have some sort of chemistry. Those character couples tend to resonate in the heads of their readers for a very long time. I, for instance, have a very special place in my heart for Meg and Calvin from A Wrinkle in Time.* Most people who read as much (or even less, I suppose) as I did have their favorite couples.

But what about the ones you didn't like? There are some literary love stories that I find distasteful to this day. I can't think of them without my fifteen-year-old brain going: WTF? So I give to you:

THE FIVE WORST COUPLES IN THE HISTORY OF BOOKDOM:

5. Cathy and Chris from Flowers In The Attic. They're blonde and beautiful. He's abusive, she's mousy, and they're having sex. They're also brother and sister. But because of some kind of creepy Stockholm syndrome born of not being allowed to ever leave the attic because they're children of a somewhat incestuous relationship** they fall in a creepy sort of love and treat their much younger twin brother and sister as their own children. Why did this only make number five? Because while the gross-out factor is really high, it's a V.C. Andrews book. ALL of her books were at this level of "Why God Why?" so once you read a couple, the disgust kind of fades.

4. Ginny and Harry from Harry Potter and the Whatever Mystery Harry Must Solve This Week. My problem with this is where did it come from? Sure, back when they were all freshmen*** Ginny had this crush on Harry and it was kind of cute because it was unrequited love and nothing was going to come of it, etc etc. But all of a sudden in their sixth year, it was like J.K. Rowling said, "Fuck it. I can't let Harry keep coming to Weasley family functions unless he's actually part of the family."**** So then Ginny and Harry fall in love at Dumbledore's funeral out of nowhere. No build up, nothing to recommend their relationship, just Love(!). And then they have the stupidest named kid of all time.

3. Diana Barry and Fred Wright from Anne of Green Gables, et seq. Okay. I know. Diana is described throughout the whole Anne of Green Gables series as being an ordinary, yet uncommonly pretty child. And when all the other kids get to study for college, her mom makes her learn to cook and clean for her future husband. So Diana never really had a chance. But Fred Wright?? I mean, Anne gets Gilbert Blythe, AS SHE SHOULD, but couldn't Diana at least have gotten a character we'd heard of before. I honestly think Moody Spurgeon***** would have been a better choice. And his name is FRED?? Could it get any more boring? Yes, I know Diana doesn't have Anne's imagination, but could we at least have married her off to someone a little more interesting. I mean, the girl didn't even get to study for the Queen's College exam!

2. Daine and Numair from the Wild Magic****** series. Daine was all of fourteen when the series started, and Numair was like forty. Interestingly, this squicked me out WAY more than Cathy and Chris did. After all, Daine and Numair had the ability to see other people, as they weren't living in an attic. Pedophilia is so unattractive. And I still remember the start of the third book, where he's describing her long, luscious eyelashes as she sleeps. GET AWAY FROM THE SLEEPING MINOR!!!!

1. Amy and Teddy from Little Women. This is MY LEAST FAVORITE COUPLE OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! Amy spends her time making everyone else's lives miserable with her constant need to be the center of attention. Teddy goes around sneaking off from his tutors and hanging out with the March girls because he finds them fascinating. He is funny, adorable, and extraordinarily handsome. The perfect catch of the late 19th century. Nothing ticks me off more than when he says, "Let me introduce....my wife," and the Marches' YOUNGEST SISTER steps out of the carriage dressed to the nines. Teddy, let me help you here. Amy is a RAGING bitch. Seriously, and you only married her because she effectively STOLE Jo's trip to Europe where you happened to be man-whoring it up at the time.******* Look, you should have just pined away for Jo forever. Because seriously, Teddy. RAGING SELF-ABSORBED BITCH. Which just goes to show. It's always the girls with the ugliest personalities who get the hot guys.

What about you? Do you have any literary couples that you love, hate, or love-to-hate?

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*Especially that part where he takes her glasses off, remarks how pretty her eyes are, and how she shouldn't take them off anymore, because he doesn't want anyone else to know. Melts my dorky heart.

**Their mother married their long-lost half-uncle, and their grandmother is keeping them in the attic to hide them from society. Also because they are clearly devil spawn, what with their uncle being their father and all.

***This is a reference to a Very Potter Musical. For those of you who haven't seen it, get on that. Also, it means first years.

****Of course, if she LIKED the Weasleys she would just go with it. After all, it's totally Harry's fault they all keep dying. But Mrs. Weasley just keeps knitting him sweaters.

*****Interestingly, I just noticed that I always refer to all of the characters in this book series by their first and last names NO MATTER WHAT, but I think L.M. Montgomery does as well. All except for Anne of course. Does Anne HAVE a last name? Does anybody know?

******I was twelve. It had magic AND animals. It was cool back then. Stop laughing.

*******In the movie, you grew that ridiculous mustache. It was silly, but you were also Christian Bale at the time, so I forgive you.

The Year of The Cat

FELIS CONCOLOR

Enough Said.

Working on this trial brief is really sapping my energy, but I went to the professor today and I think I finally have a handle on the direction it was supposed to go. So I sent it there. (Enjoy your trip!) Now I just need to finish Bluebooking and proofreading. But that will have to wait until tomorrow. When I have an interview at noon, and the brief is due at 3 pm on the dot. Yeah, this should be interesting.

Anyway, as usual during the proofreading madness, I put my iTunes* on shuffle, and sang along to the various showtunes that popped up.** What came on but a little Wicked, and the song "Wonderful." Now, I usually skip that one in the rotation because it's not my favorite, but my laptop was across the room and I am notorious for my laziness as well as my love of Broadway.

Where I'm from, we believe all sorts of things that aren't true.

We call it history.

A man's called a traitor or liberator,

A rich man is a thief or philanthropist.

Is one a crusader, or ruthless invader?

It's all in which label is able to persist.

There are very few at ease with moral ambiguities,

So we act as though they don't exist.

In Anthropology, we spent a lot of time discussing what history really meant. History is really more a timeline through someone else's glasses, colored not only by their point of view, but also in the way they view time. (For instance, one group of Native Americans sees time the same way as distance. Someone displaced from you in time, is really only displaced by distance, so that really makes the way they see history different from ours, which is more like a running river.***)

Anyway, I find that case law is very similar to history, in that its the story of the winners, not the losers. Ever wonder why you didn't learn about the Trail of Tears too much in middle school, but they made Andrew Jackson look like more of a badass than Chuck Norris? Probably for the same reason that Cardozo didn't mention that the scale that fell on Mrs. Pfalsgraf's head was actually so heavy that its a wonder she didn't die instead of simply suffering severe brain damage.

Facts in cases are selected and highlighted to make the judge's (and jury's) decision look like the right one. Even as 1Ls we learn to hide dissatisfactory facts in the middle of sentences and to mitigate them with more favorable facts. We're trying to make the loser's (or opponent's) story disappear, to remove them from history and to make their tale appear less noble and dignified.

But I've never been satisfied with the history of the victors. It hardly seems fair to hide the story of the other side just so that the future readers feel at ease because of a lack of "moral ambiguities."

As for the judges who suddenly found themselves to go from "dime a dozen mediocrates" to "Solomons and Socrates", I certainly hope that they're being careful when writing their opinions to be as fair to the "losers" as they can. After all, they're writing legal history here.

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*Speaking of iTunes, did you know that Steve Jobs pretty much announced that he killed the CD in his last "unveiling"? Seriously, he said that the iTunes logo is changing to be just the music notes with no CD behind them, because he made them unnecessary. I can't decide if that's arrogant, or creepy, or both. I feel like Steve Jobs might be the Hitler of technology. (But God help me, I love my Apple products.)

**Yes, I have lots of showtunes, and I can belt a mean "All I Ask of You" given half a chance and some room to really turn up the volume. Anyone up for a duet? (I also love doing Somewhere That's Green.)

*** Which is ironic, because in Pocahontas, there's that whole song about how you can't step in the same river twice. Which I may also have listened to tonight.