It's A Beautiful Day

I learned my caffeine routine in a
foreign country.  

Oh, springtime.  The days are getting longer, the population is becoming twitterpated, and every group in law school is having a very special networking event.  I'm getting tired of having to dress at 9 am for an evening event that doesn't start until 6 pm.  My feet are longing to be in sneakers and I don't feel like constantly checking my hair to make sure it hasn't turned into a frizzy mess.

Especially since the frizzy mess is an inevitability.

On days like these, I need a little something to ground me in the whirlwind.  Maybe you do too.  And may I suggest routine?

Sure, everybody says a routine is boring, but I don't necessarily mean you should do the same exact thing every day.  Rather, pick something that makes you feel normal and sane and make it into a ritual of sorts.  For instance, the first thing I do in the morning after my 7:15 wake up is make coffee while I eat breakfast.  After I finish my breakfast, my coffee accompanies me throughout my morning until I brush my teeth at 8:35 am, right before I leave for class.  That full hour of caffeinating myself while I get ready for class keeps me from jumping out of bed and flying off the handle.

After my classes and other meetings are done for the day, I come home and do my reading for the following day, hopefully finishing before 7 pm, when all my favorite sitcoms come on.  At that point, I either go to the gym for a long run/workout while watching tv, or I decide that I'm too tired for exercise and just watch television from the comfort of my bed.  Regardless, I spend the rest of the night taking care of myself, dealing with personal matters, and playing catch up from the day.  The last thing I do is take a long, hot shower to get rid of the last 16 hours and start the new day fresh and clean.  Depending on what the next day looks like, I make a to-do list for the following day just before bed.  

Routine isn't necessarily about doing the same thing over and over, but rather about doing familiar sorts of things daily.  Even my daily coffee doesn't need to be coffee, sometimes it's orange juice if I feel scurvacious.*  It's like the way I always keep my keys on the hook by the door:  It's not because I want to know exactly where my keys are,**  it's because looking for my keys causes me to panic and feel insecure.  

So find your own routine.  Listen to your favorite song every night before bed, or do your multiplication tables in the shower.  Call your mom at lunch, or check your favorite website first thing in the morning when you know it updates.***  Do something that makes you feel in control of your own life, and prevents that feeling of being too exhausted to live.  

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a cup of coffee to drink before I have to brush my teeth at 8:35.

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*Adjectival form of having scurvy

**Okay, it's a little bit that.

***I know it's this one.

The Day After Tomorrow

Is it just me, or is the first week back after Spring Break awful?  Winter break is three weeks long, and by the time it's over, you're about ready to go back.  Spring Break is one week long and when it comes time to go back, you feel as though you're being dragged back kicking and screaming.  Seriously, it's not like I even got to DO anything.*

The worst part is how you think, "Okay, I'm going to be really busy today, so I need to stay on schedule and keep moving through."  The thing is, I'm NOT that busy.  I even made a to-do list, but I don't have THAT much more to do than I did before Spring Break.  Two more activities.  Two.  That actually fit into my schedule fairly well.  It just all feels like too much.  I even woke up before 7 am solely because I was worried** that I would miss my first class because I overslept.

I also realized this morning that FINAL EXAMS start in a month.  You're welcome.

In other words, if I can stop myself from having an unnecessary stress-related heart attack until Thursday at noon, I will consider the whole week a win.

Please address all questions or complaints about the brevity of Spring Break to management in the comment box below.  Thanks!

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*I did get to go see The King's Speech.  It was super amazing.
**Also possibly because I've been on Eastern time for 10 days now, so my body was pretty sure it was almost 8 o'clock.

I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has pretty much been me all week.
(This is actually my aunt's dog.)

Last year on spring break, I went to a group exercise class which made me so sore that I quite literally could not walk (without looking like an old lady) for three days.  This year I ended up with a stomach virus, which was introduced to me by my mother, who carried it home from the little plague rats she teaches.

Today I am finally able to return to my normal state of being.  (Yesterday, going to the library for five minutes absolutely exhausted me.  I had to come home and take a nap.)  But that brings me to my point today:

Spring break is not about getting ahead or being the best at everything.  Spring break is a time to play catch up and to lay in bed for three days feeling miserable and making your mom bring you various forms of sport beverages.  (I requested pedialyte; I got gatorade.)

I admit, when I go home to see my family, I am a great big baby about EVERYTHING.  I let my mom make my meals, I don't clean my bedroom, and I make special grocery requests.  I even let my mother do my laundry, which she hasn't done since I was sixteen years old.

But for serious, I live five minutes from this thing.

And what do I do?  I sit on the couch, work on job applications, go shopping, and watch a ridiculous amount of tv.  So really, being sick wasn't that much of a change from my normal spring break anyway.

But I'm doing all of it for a very good reason:  When I leave, my mother won't miss me.  Nope, no empty nest syndrome here!  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get dressed to go see The King's Speech.  Which I will not be paying for.

Why would I want to go anywhere else for spring break?

And Now, a Message From Our Sponsors

Hello,
For those of you who don't know, my name is Chewbacca.  I am a 5 pound canine who strongly dislikes Amanda, unless she is giving me food.  (I have also heard that she has her own dog who is less than dignified at all times, but that is neither here nor there.)  Regardless, she is a bad influence on my owner and I would appreciate it if she would disappear from my life.

That is why I am pleased to announce that Amanda has come down with "a wicked case of the stomach flu," and will be unable to provide you with any sort of wisdom today.  She also says to enjoy your spring breaks, and that she will return on Wednesday.

Thank you for your patience.

Welcome to Conjunction Junction

In law school you do a lot of writing.  Between advocacy classes, legal writing classes, taking exams, taking notes, writing outlines, writing articles, and even just writing e-mails, a law student will write a ridiculous amount of words over her time in school.  I’m told that you write even more as a lawyer.   In order to be taken seriously, grammar is important.

Between you and me, I’m the queen of comma splices, and when I get excited, I tend to mix up my their/they’re/there.  Not because I don’t know the difference, but because I know what the word sounds like, and I just type without paying much attention.  It’s a bad habit.  That's why careful proofreading is key.

DePaul 1Ls even have writing composition (read: grammar) assignments, and a huge quiz at the end of this semester on grammar (and bluebooking).  So I thought it might be handy if I did a post with links to grammar help for those of you who need a quick look up on a grammar tangle.

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/  

I love the Grammar Girl website.  Quick and easy to understand, it will clear up any problems you have in a jiffy.  (It certainly helped me understand how to fix messed-up modifiers!)

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/  

I discovered this in undergrad, since I went to school in Indiana.  The Purdue Online Writing Lab is a pretty comprehensive website all about writing.  I highly recommend it when you need a good example to follow.

http://www.plsclarify.com/  

Please Clarify is a blog specifically about legal writing.  It often has little pictures or comics to show grammar fails.  The blog spends time talking about effective communication tactics, which I find helpful and interesting.

And finally, not exactly a link, but something I’ve watched over and over for the last couple days.  It’s a short video, and hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do!

I'll be on Spring Break in about 25 hours!  When does your much-needed vacation (or staycation, as the case may be) begin?

So....it's Spring Break now, right?

I am quite literally counting down the hours to Spring Break.  For me at least, Spring Break starts in 76 hours.  SEVENTY-SIX HOURS.  My impatience knows no bounds.  My body is buzzing with the knowledge that I will soon be free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, etc. etc.

Of course, this means it's that much harder to accomplish anything.  And daylight's savings time has me all kinds of confused.  It's my bedtime right now.*  I think I'll probably be up for at least another hour.**  This is the hardest time of year for me.

I know that I have so much to do, but it's hard to make myself do any of it.  For instance, in order to avoid doing nine pages of reading for Secured Transactions, I spent two hours cleaning my room and bathroom, watched Sister Wives, and listened to Bruce Springsteen's "If I Should Fall Behind" six times.***

I am NOT coming out.  You can't make me.

Lucky for me, I'm well aware that I'm not alone in my oxymoronically antsy ennui.  This is the hardest time of spring semester for any student.  In fall, you get all sorts of little breaks, whereas in spring it's school for weeks and weeks until FINALLY eleven days of glorious nothing stretches before you.  Of course, this is where spring semester burnout comes into play.  At this point, you're so sure you deserve a break that you stop working.  Guess what?

You don't deserve it.  Just get your work done.  And then enjoy your Spring Break.  Because we're getting back to that part of the semester where you can't remember the last time you showered.

Oh yay!

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*Yes, I have a bedtime.  Don't judge.
**Unless I abuse OTC medication for its sleepy time powers.  Which I refuse to do.
***Guys, this is a really good song, and yes I am listening to it again right now.

Therapist Needed

Immensely.

Those who know me know that there are things I am OCD about.  Things that I need to be just so.  Though I don't know if it's a case of OCD or just a case of I am a pain in the ass and I want things done my way.  Regardless, I have decided to blame my need for perfection on my long-suffering mother, as Freud would no doubt have me do.

Once as a child, I decided ironing was fun.  The process of smoothing out each and every wrinkle and making sure none of the hems flipped the wrong way was so awesome.  I told my mother that, while I continued to carefully smooth away each and every imperfection from the fabric, carefully planning how I would turn the cloth to make sure I got every inch and didn't cause any more wrinkles.

Instead of realizing then what a freak I was destined to become, my mother went and got all the tablecloths that had been sitting in storage for two years.  I ironed for three hours until I was forced to go to bed.

So, no, Lady Gaga, I was not "born this way."  It's all my mother's fault.

And I still secretly love ironing.

Words

"Do you truly understand the words that come out of your mouth, the depth within each word, sound, letter?"

Admittedly, I stole this from someone else this morning, but when I saw it, it was incredible.  This is how I feel about language.  This is how I feel about speaking.


Words are powerful.  Words are dangerous.  Words are sweet.  Words are full of meanings, but they don't really mean anything at all.

When I'm speaking without fear of saying the wrong words, when I know I'm being heard, I can feel the height of each letter in my mouth.  I form the words at the back of my throat and propel them forward with my tongue.  I expel them with the force of my lungs, sometimes soft, sometimes almost too loud.  Each word feels like a crisp being unto itself and I can see them hanging in the air above the heads of my listeners until I see those same words sink down into my audience's ears.


I've filled my body with the makings of words that I can't wait to send to the world.  -Ings and -Ers fill my stomach like so many butterflies, waiting to be made into something more.


How lucky, then, that I've chosen a profession which will allow me to use up those -fuls and -ests until I run out of words.

Stop Making Goals, and Start Making Plans

See that subject up there?  That is one of my life mottos.  I hate goal-setting.  I think it's a waste of time.  Do you know why?

Because most of your goals are stupid.

Actually, that's a little harsh.  Most of your goals are unreachable because you just say, "Hey!  This is what I want, Universe!  Bring it to me!"  And regardless of what that book The Secret says, just because you're open to the universe doesn't mean the universe is open to you.  (Also, the universe doesn't actually care about you because you're a little speck of dust on a millisecond of a clock.  But that's a much more philosophical discussion.)

The point is, if you're going to engage in goal-setting, even though you probably shouldn't bother, you're going to need better goals.  Smaller, more reachable goals.  In fact,

You're going to need plans.

Here's the difference between a goal and a plan:

Goal:  I want a job in Charlotte, North* Carolina, which will enable me to pay off my loans in 7 years and put a down payment on a house by year ten.

Plan:  I'm going to start spending at least one hour every day job searching and applying for positions in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I'm going to make a budget that will tell me how much I need to make in order to achieve my financial goals.

See?  Goals are airy, dream-like things that will get you nowhere!  Plans are specific and step-by-step.

Let me give you an example from my own life.  When I was a child, we were forever running out of toilet paper.  Probably because I have little brothers who like to dance in it or something.  Or possibly take baths in it, a la Scrooge McDuck and his money.  Anyway, I swore that once I lived on my own, I would "Never run out of toilet paper again!"  It was a very dramatic, Scarlett O'Hara-esque goal, but not a very defined plan.  Nevertheless, now that I am an adult living on my own, I buy toilet paper every time it goes on sale.

Which is why I tend to have 30 rolls in my closet 80% of the time.

See?  I've achieved my goals through proper planning.  Now throw out all of your goals.  They're not going to work out anyway.

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*Apparently, if you look up Charlotte, South Carolina on Google, the internet is very happy to tell you that that is INDEED where Charlotte is located.  But, um, apparently it is in North Carolina.  Thanks to Baby B for informing me of that little fact.  

Pretend Lawyering 101

I spent all yesterday feeling guilty that it was Wednesday and I hadn't written a post.  But then I realized it was Tuesday, and I felt bad because I didn't have anything prepared.  So instead I thought I'd pepper you with some quotes from last night's trial ad class.

But first, some background for you non-lawyer types.

I've explained the legal writing program as pretend lawyering before.  You write memos and briefs, interview "clients," and argue motions.  Trial Ad is what would happen if none of those things solved your problem, ie, a trial.  The class starts out with everyone doing exercises and being critiqued by a real judge on everything from your diction to the form of your questions to the way/where you stand.  Mid-semester, you move into mini-trials, where you run a whole trial a little bit at a time for four weeks.  (We have closing arguments for that next week.)  After mini-trials is the final exam.  A three-hour trial.

The class is down at the courthouse for three hours once a week.  I recommend everyone take it, even if (like me) you're not planning to litigate.  It's not only good to see how a trial works, it's good to see how evidentiary objections work, it's fun to MAKE objections, and I feel like it's done wonders for my public speaking and improvisation skills.  But enough with the lecture.

So without further ado, quotes from last night's trial ad class to prove how much fun it is!

S1:  “I’m going to cross-examine myself.  

       ‘What did you do on February 7th?’ 

       ‘I was at home that day.’    

       ‘That’s not what you said in your deposition! Are you lying now or were you lying then?’”

S2:  “Objection.  Badgering the witness.”

S1:  “I can’t be badgering myself!”

S3:  “Sometimes when I’m at home alone, I badger myself.”

Prof:  “So you’re Amanda.”

S1:  “No, I’m Amanda, that’s Tina.”

Prof:  “Okay, so Tina and Brandon.” 

S2:  “No.  That’s Paul, I’m Brandon.”

Prof:  “Then if you’re Paul, who’s in the witness box!”

S1:  (Muttered)  “Who’s on first?”

S1:  “Objection.  Hearsay.”

S2:  “Dying declaration.”

Prof:  “Hold on…”

S1:  “The dying declaration exception is only valid when the declaration relates to the circumstances—“

Prof:  “Wait—“

S2:  “Supreme Court just handed down Michigan v. Baker, which states—“

Prof:  “WILL YOU TWO JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE?”

S1:  “I’m beginning to think we’re the remedial Trial Ad class for idiots.

S2:  “Now that's not fair!  Clearly we all know our own names!