You Will Curse the Day You Did Not Do.....

Le sigh.  It is going to be a long week.  I need to work on my article, my appellate brief, my cite-checking assignment, and somehow get all my reading done.  And I should probably start outlining.  Eventually.  It's only Monday morning, and I think I'm ready to have a panic attack.  Why?  Because I have already been annoyed multiple times today!  Shall we count together?

1.  The undergrads.  Dear undergraduate students.  I realize that sometimes you, too, have classes in the Lewis building.  Please take the designated elevators for your building though.  They are larger and there's a skybridge to Lewis.  That way, we law students can take our designated elevators and not have to wait for all five hundred of you to go up first.  Also, if you were NOT the first person there, don't cram yourself onto the elevator.   Seriously.  If I beat you to the line of elevators, I will accidentally-on-purpose hit you in the face with my 30 pound backpack when you try to squeeze me out of said elevator.  (I did that this morning.  Violence is sometimes the answer.)  I don't CARE that you're going to be late to class.  Spend less time on your hair in the morning, and take an earlier train.

2.  Sick.  Ugh.  I HATE being sick.  And it's that lovely cold virus that we all have, so I'm constantly sniffling and sneezing and having everyone glare at me for being a plague rat.  And since everyone thinks I'm going to give them a disease, Nyquil is my only friend.  (And what a glorious friend it is too, considering the construction going on outside my window.)

3.  The Construction Outside My Window.  I don't know what you're doing to the road out there, but must you start jackhammering at 5:30 am?  And those metal plates you've been putting down to cover up the holes you're making?  Yeah, cars driving over those all night is a loud, loud thing.

4.  I'm a loser.  The Boy keeps beating me at Scrabble.  I am the Scrabble Queen!!  This is such an embarrassment to the title.

5.  Phantom of the Opera.  Seriously, if I have to hear the song "All I Ask of You" one more time on Pandora, I will END someone.  I love the website with all my heart, but it seems to think I love listening to Sarah Brightman OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  I don't.  At all.  Not even a little bit.

What Do You Mean I Have to Stay Here? The Sun Finally Came Out!

Have you ever noticed how some days everything is easy, and on other days it's like pulling teeth to get things done.  I promised myself I would get five full pages written on my article today, preferably before Evidence at 2:30.  Well, it's 1:00, I've been working for about 2.5 hours, and I've written one page.  ONE PAGE.  I write a sentence, realize it looks wrong/is on the wrong topic/doesn't flow from the previous sentence, and have to erase it.  And once I finally get it written in an appropriate way, I still have to find support for it from one of the many articles/cases in my 10 pound notebook of research.  

I don't think it's a motivation thing.  Sure, I'm not really feeling motivated, but that's usually the case, so it's nothing new.  I just think some days your brain is so fuzzy that you honestly can't accomplish anything.  And it's not my fault.  I had my phone stolen, so I don't have random texts coming in every half hour or so to make me laugh while I work, and LSBFF forgot her keys last night and I had to let her in late.

Apparently, she was banging on the door to our apartment for a solid fifteen minutes last night before I got out of bed to let her in.  Why?  Because I was asleep, and when I heard the very rhythmic, very loud knocking, I assumed (in my sleepy brain) that LSBFF was decorating the living room and hammering things into the walls.  I was so pissed at her for deciding to decorate in the middle of the night.  Eventually, the thought made its way to my brain that it was insane to decorate in the middle of the night and LSBFF is not insane.  So I got up and let her in.  Of course, in my sleepy state, I wasn't thinking very clearly, so I didn't actually pick up my glasses so that I could see who I was letting into the apartment.  Fortunately, it was my roomie and not a serial killer.  WIN.

Now back to attempting to summarize the justifications of textualism.

Everybody Limbo!

Had a quick conversation with a friend today about how hard it is sometimes to be one of the young folks in law school.  When it comes to legal education, you can go one of two routes:  (1) You can take some time off and make sure this is really what you want, or (2) you can go straight to law school from college so that you don't have time to talk yourself out of it.  Like the majority of law students, I came to the legal world straight out of undergrad, with nary a year to spare, and I'm starting to feel like I'm living in limbo.

There are only 581 days left of this harrowing experience known as law school, but it stretches out before me like an Indiana highway:  Flat, long, and with corn blocking my vision on both sides.  My current goal for coping is to wear blinders like a spooked horse and concentrate on the short term goals immediately before me and try not to notice neither the life that is (hopefully) waiting for me nor the present fun that other people are having.  I'm living in the in-between, where all that matters is this moment, and the short-sightedness is starting to make me antsy.

"In the Divine Comedy, Dante depicts Limbo as the first circle of Hell, located beyond the river Acheron but before the judgment seat of Minos. The virtuous pagans of classical history and mythology inhabit a brightly lit and beautiful—but somber—castle which is seemingly a medieval version of Elysium. They include Hector, Julius Caesar, and Virgil."*

In order for Dante to travel deeper into Hell, he has to wait in Limbo for Virgil to come along and show him around.

If I'm in limbo now, I don't know what that means for the future.

Or if I want my own personal Virgil to show up.

I'm fine without traveling to the ninth circle, but thanks so much!


__________
*Thanks Wikipedia! 

 

I Can Go The Distance. (And So Can You!)

Oh man.  This has been one of those weeks.  On Monday, my body was sure it was Thursday, and it's been confused about why the weekend hasn't started ever since.  Today my goal was just to stay awake and I nearly failed.  Twice.  And since I'm not really in the mood to wax poetic, I gift you with a List.

How To Keep Going Even Though You Want Desperately to Say "Screw It"

1.  Just do it.  Sorry for the Nike endorsement, but seriously quit whining about your sad life and just get it done.  If you're reading and falling asleep (like yours truly) start taking notes in the margins.  If you're trying to write and it's like pulling teeth because you can't figure out what to say (also like yours truly) just start throwing words on a page and make it pretty later.  Seriously.  Don't stop what you're doing just because you're tired or frustrated.  If you stop now, you'll just have to do it later.  Not.  Worth.  It.

2.  Posture.  Have you REALLY thought about your posture?  Slumping in your chair is going to make you sleepier.  If you find your lids closing against  your will, readjust yourself.  Pick your butt slightly out of your chair, stretch your arms way over your head, and take a deep breath while sitting back down.  Make sure that as you make contact with the chair, your shoulders are set back and not rounded.  Open your eyes as wide as you can, just briefly, and breathe deeply into your diaphragm.  Let the oxygen get to your brain, and have your body send your mind a message that denotes your alertness.

3.  Bribery.  Look, I'm not proud of it, but we all get to the point where we've already had a really long day and there's a lot left.  On those days, I bribe myself.  I tell myself, "Two more hours and you can stop on the way home for a library book."  Or, "if you just finish this, you can get Thai takeout on the way home."  There's nothing better for making me get things done than telling myself I can have something I really want.  And it works every time.*

4.  Take a Break.  You can only look at words on a page or a screen for so long before they start to blur together.  Arrange short breaks for yourself on intervals of an hour or so.  My favorites?  If I'm in the library or the student lounge, I like to give myself ten minutes on gchat with a friend every hour.  It gives me something to look forward to when I'm working in solitude, plus it's pretty easy to get back to work.  If I'm at home, I like to pick a favorite song on Itunes and dance in my room.  It gets the blood pumping again, and I get to be goofy for just a few minutes.  Having that extra energy from shaking my sillies out works wonders.

5.  Disney Music.  Yes, I know it's cheesy, but when half the songs are about doing the best you can and being awesome, how can it NOT be great inspiration for when you're feeling a little low?  Sometimes I feel like law school is just one big production of Mulan.**

That's about it.  What do you do when you have to keep going, no matter how much your brain/body is begging you to stop?

_______________________
*I have to admit, sometimes my bribe is as simple as "If you get this done, you can go home.  That's usually enough to get me to do my work.

**Not really.  But it probably is trying to make a man out of me and allow me to bring honor to my family.  Or something.

I Feel Like I'm on a Jungle Safari!

Dear Readers:

I am currently in the same building as one Antonin Scalia.  Soon we will even be in the same library, separated by a mere floor of books.  I'm dressed appropriately to run into a SCOTUS justice of course, as one should be when presented with the opportunity to meet one.  He's also giving a lecture tonight at the Harold Washington library.  A lot of people aren't going, some of them because they don't agree with his opinions.

Neither do I.  Part of my research this semester is on textualism, and Scalia is a very important textualist.  I personally find this doctrine narrow, limiting, and defiant of actual legislative intent.  However, this doesn't mean I don't want to hear him speak.  First of all, it could be good for my research to hear his opinions on originalism and textualism.  Second of all (and more importantly), you don't have to agree with someone to learn from them.

Now, I don't like to get preachy when I write, (see random pictures of puppies and videos of 80s songs,) but I do believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion and you should listen to it.  You're never going to learn the weaknesses of your own argument if you don't listen to someone else's, regardless of how ridiculous you may think it is.*  Use someone else's viewpoints to sharpen your own.

And be humble when it turns out you're wrong.  It's okay to realize that maybe someone else's thoughts were better than yours.  Use that information.  Pick their brain, and let it lead you somewhere good or useful.

So while I don't agree with Scalia that all answers should be found in the "four corners" of a document, I'm excited to find out why he does believe that.  And while I don't believe all of his opinions are good ones, I'm excited to hear how he arrived at them.

After all, you don't get to be a Supreme Court Justice by being stupid.

_____________________
*See, "We don't even HAVE 7-11s on the South Side!"

Fashion Forward Fridays

In this edition of Fashion Forward Fridays, we examine the geekiest, yet most convenient accessory EVER:

The Rolling Backpack

I know, I know. Do I really want to go here? Here's the thing: I noticed a rip in the bottom of my trusty five and a half year old backpack today. Apparently the huge law books are murdering it. So the decision is finally before me: Do I give up and get the rolling backpack?

Pros:

• My vertebrae won't feel collapsed at the end of the day. Books are HEAVY. And carrying four books, a legal pad, my macbook, and a heavy water bottle all day is bad for your back. Apparently you're not supposed to carry more than 10% of your body weight on your back. But I'm not 300 pounds, so you can see how my bag is getting a little uncomfortable.
• I'll have more space. Apparently rolling backpacks are much bigger than they look, and have lots of compartments. So I won't have to dig through my bag as much, and I'll actually be able to carry MORE than I do now, which means less trips between home and school.

Cons:

• They look pretty dorky. It's like you're saying, "I'm so serious, I need a SERIOUS backpack." I don't WANT to be the dorky kid. I want a cute side bag that I can carry with pride.
• They're pricey. The one pictured here retails for $169.95 at the company website. (It's only $101 at Overstock.com, though.) A decent backpack is only $30. Will it last long enough to make it worth the price? (I would appreciate some feedback on this.)

I can't decide what I want to do, but I need to decide before my Macbook falls out of my backpack while I'm walking down State Street.

I Want to Live a Simple Life

Well, it's been a Week, with a Capital W. And it's only Wednesday, which also starts with a W, oddly enough. Things that have happened this week:

1.) I lost my ID

2.) I had to wait in multiple lines, deal with downed servers and waste an extra 20 minutes of my life getting a new ID.

3.) Fifteen minutes after I got my ID, I got an e-mail saying my lost one was found.

4.) I used my new ID to rush around and get stuff ready to turn in for my law review memo which was due at five. I managed to get it done.

5.) It didn't matter because today my SECOND topic was rejected.

I won't lie, after the ID issues and the stress that called, and my night classes this week, and not being able to focus, having my topic rejected for a second time was psychologically damaging.

I've got to be honest: I didn't know what the Law Review was until about October of my first year, when I had to cite a law review for something else. (For anyone who doesn't know, Law Review is a student-run journal. You can grade on if you make the top 10%, or you can write on if you have kickass writing skills.) Meanwhile, other people made Law Review their ultimate first year goal. They had topics in mind and interests ready to go. I graded on accidentally, and am totally lost as to how this whole thing works. I'm not even entirely sure that this is what I want to do, except that I'm told it's this huge honor and you just have to do it.

So I did it. And there I was, at a loss again. I feel like every time I fail at this journal thing, it's supposed to be some sort of sign that I'm not right for this, that I'm not the sort of person who is supposed to do this. Except that I WANT to do something like this for once. Keep a commitment for once in my life and not quit. However, since the universe is busily telling me to give up now, I'm just about ready to give into psychic pressure and throw things out the window.

And this afternoon I just about did. I don't have the personality type the rest of these people have, and maybe I'm just taking a spot from someone who really deserves/wanted it. And maybe I'm not meant to write in a peer-reviewed journal. Sometimes law school just sucks and makes you want to (as I told LSBFF tonight) "Eat Pauly's Pizza, and hopefully choke on it and die." But, fortunately, I didn't eat Pauly's tonight.

LSBFF invited me to join her and two of her best friends tonight for dinner. After a dipped Italian beef sandwich with hot peppers, a short ramble around downtown, and Ghirardelli's ice cream, I feel a lot better. Regardless of what happens, at the end of this, no matter what decision I make about Law Review, I'll still be standing. And if all else fails, there's always Portillo's for some healthy emotional eating.

So much stress, and I have to be up early tomorrow, because they're shutting off the hot water in the building at 8 am. At least that we'll give me plenty of time to do some serious thinking